“I have been married for a very long time but do not have any children yet. My husband and I have been praying endlessly for ALLAH to bless us with a child. Is there a reason why our prayer is not being answered. What do you advise us to do?”
May Allah make it easy for you. InsyaAllah. And yes, Allah, has written that into your destiny. You can hope that it may change but accept that destiny that Allah has given to you and the peace is going to enter into your heart. If you don’t accept that judgement, that decision, you may lose your faith.
There is a reason, and Allah’s reason is always the best reason. Whatever happens to you, it is a blessing.
Our Grandsheykh Abdullah is saying, ‘whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, it is a blessing.’
So, as a person of faith, as a muqmin, we have to understand what that blessing is and what is the hikmah, what is the wisdom to that that has been destined for you.
Find that, the peace will enter into your heart. Not only that, you’ll have more faith. Reject that, and be upset and be angry, and that is the time that you may lose your faith. And you may lose everything. Because the faith is the most important thing now in Islam. The faith is the most important thing.
It is not the man and the woman who brings the child into this world. It is Allah who brings the child into this world. If the man is catching the faith to think that way, man or woman, the station will rise. Because that is a test, that is a jihad, that is a struggle for you and if you pass that test well, Allah will reward you endlessly. You may not have children here, but who knows what you are going to have in the hereafter.
This world is just passing, and Allah swt, bottom-line is saying, that so many Imams and Sheykhs they don’t want to say because they are scared from the west and the western media. Allah is saying, ‘Understand that this world, your wives, your children and all your wealth, is nothing but a confusion for you.’ It is a confusion for you. The man of faith will understand this.
Are we saying that we should not have children, we should not get married, we should not go out and work?
The unintelligent man, the man who is quick for slander and quick for telling lies and cheating and lying, he is going to come to this conclusion quickly. We cannot do anything. If you want to do that, it just shows your own ignorance that sheytan has hooked you.
Of course we work. Of course we marry. That’s why we need to have a role model. If we don’t have a role model of who to marry, how to marry, how to have a family, how to raise your children, if we don’t have guidelines how to do this – 1400 years of guidelines we have, if we are not following that then we are going to follow the guidelines that the television is offering us. That the magazines, that the books, that the talk shows that the kufr is going to offer us.
Because now when we look at the lifestyle of the Prophet (asws), he did not let his wives, or his children or his grandchildren, to stand in the way of him and Allah.
Yes. How many of us now, because of our family and saying that we love our family, they stand between us and Allah, and we obey them?
Paradise is under the feet of the mothers, only for the mothers who are ahle Paradise, ahle Jannat. Those mothers who are ahle Dunya, those mothers who are ahle Jahannam, those mothers who are ahle Sheytan, and there are billions of mothers like this, those mothers who are ahle Hawa and Nafs, that they are not caring if their sons and their daughters go out to have boyfriends and girlfriends, and to wear short skirts and to go out to smoke, to drink, to go to clubs, they don’t care for that.
But once the sons or the daughters start covering up and going to masjid and going to zikir and sohbets, they say, ‘No, you must obey me because Paradise is under my feet. Prophet is saying, you must obey me. Don’t go.’ And the foolish sons and the daughters are saying, ‘I have to obey my mother.’
Upside down. Confusion.
So, don’t be confused. Yes, that time maybe there is a hidden secret to that. Definitely there is a hidden secret
But I’m going to give you one more thing that I’m going to say to you, definitely you will not like it, but who knows, I may be surprised. If you are a mukminah, you are not going to be surprised, you are not going to be upset. That’s why in Islam, Islam is permitting the man to marry up to four wives. There is a reason and it is a right.
I’m not now saying that your husband must marry another one or something. No. I’m just saying that Islam is permitting the husband to marry four wives, and this is one of the conditions when it is allowed for the man to marry a second wife – If the wife is not producing. If the husband is not producing, that’s something else.
If you know medically what is happening, then accept takdir and insyaAllah ar-Rahman, Allah will make it easy for you. If you live in a Muslim community, you live in a Jamaat, if you live in a Muslim village, this kind of things they didn’t just happen yesterday. It’s been happening for thousands of years.
In our old days, with our mothers, our grandmothers our great grandmothers, maybe we have some aunts, maybe we have some sisters, some cousins who they don’t have children. Everyone else, they have two, three, four, in the old days, seven, eight, nine, ten children they have. So they say, ‘okay, you don’t have child, I have a small one that I have just have given birth, you take him, you take care of him.’ Isn’t it?
And that one will start taking care of that kid, building the community, making the community to be strong. And you know that you are adopting the kid from your own family. Not from outside. Not from a place where you are not understanding where the person is coming from, what lineage he is coming from too.
Hoja Lokman Effendi
12 January 2013