QUESTION: Can you tell us a little about how the wives of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (asws) and the Sahaba lived and how they balanced their daily duties?
Okay, I will tell you a little bit. No, I’m going to tell you more. I’m going to tell you what they didn’t do. The wives of the Holy Prophet (AS), or the wives of the Sahabi e-kiram, they did not stand up in front of their husband to challenge their husband. They did not stand up against to their teachings. They did not make a fitnah. They remained behind. They are giving the support and they are holding on tightly to what Holy Prophet (AS) brought to them.
First we have to understand, this word ‘balance’, we have to throw this out. Balance? You balance life? You enter into Tarikat to balance life? You enter into Tarikat because you know your life is unbalance. That’s why you want to find balance with Tarikat. Because so many people, they are saying, ‘how do we find the balance?’ Meaning you enter into Tarikat but you still want your jahiliyya lifestyle, you still cannot let that go. You still want everything and you want the way of Allah too. How is that possible? There is a word for that. It’s call Munafiq. You claim something and you do something else. Claiming you are Sufi but your lifestyle is completely according to the West, completely according to kafir. Selfish, egoistic lifestyle. How you can be a sufi then that time?
Sufi is the one who is completely finished. He’s finished himself, he’s dust under the feet of the Prophet. Dust under the feet of their Sheykh, but we are looking, people are not dust under the feet. So many modern sufi, they are saying, ‘No, we don’t have to follow sunnat, we don’t have to cover out head.’ Women, they are saying, ‘Sheykha festival’ they are having. Uncovering their hijab, standing there and speaking about Islam. Speaking about Prophet, speaking about Tasawuff. Akhir zaman, complete fitnah and complete confusion!
So, we are not looking for balance with jahiliyyah and balance with Islam. What we are looking for, is for Allah to be please with us. Of course, you have some life. Of course you are going to go out there to go to school and to study. Yes. But we know that all those things is just to make us to survive in this world. It is not top priority. It is not the things that is going to give us life. What gives us life is to be with the waris el-anbiyya, to be with the inheritors of the Prophet. To be with the Awliya Allah. That is what gives us life. To be with them, even just to sit with them, and to just look at them is going to give us life, give us balance! It’s not to go looking for other kinds of lifestyle. Okay, people are saying, ‘we are weak, we cannot carry this.’ That is something else. People who admit that and say one day, ‘please pray for me like this,’ we say okay, because you are not being arrogant, you are not being proud, you are admitting your weakness, we pray for you. Slowly, don’t worry, don’t beat yourself up over it also.
This words that I’m saying, first to myself and others, but especially for others who are claiming such high level, and we are looking, they have nothing to prove. They are being charlatan, cheats, cheaters. No, for people who know themselves, they say, ‘I cannot, I want to attend, I want to go, I want to follow, but I cannot. I’m so weak.’ Slowly then, insyaAllah. These words are not for those ones. But others ones who are so proud, others ones who are so spoiled, they want the best of both world, it cannot be.
So, the wives of the Holy Prophet (AS) and the wives of the sahabi e-kiram, they serve their husband first. They serve their husband. Nowadays, so many, they are serving others, serving themselves, but they are not serving their husband. I just read a hadiths recently, Prophet (AS), he was sitting down and he was crying and one sahabi e-kiram came, and I believe it was Abu Hurairah (RA), he saw him crying and crying, and he said, ‘Ya Rasulullah, may my parents be sacrificed for you, tell us why you are crying?’ He said, ‘I’m crying for the women of my nation because when I pass through hell in the mi’raj, majority of them they are women not men!’ and if you think that they are women form the time of the Khilafat, from the time of the Sultanat, from the time of the Khalifahs and the time of the Khulafah al-Rasyidin, you are wrong. This majority is from the time of now! And he is saying, ‘I’m crying for them because I’m seeing they are going through so much torture and majority of them they are going through so much torture because they are challenging and standing up and being a tyrant to their husbands.’ Now, if the husband is following in the way of Allah and His Prophet, then it is obligation for you to obey that husband. Definitely. But if that husband is stopping you from the way of Allah and His Prophet, from following Awliya Allah, then that time, you have to recalibrate, recalculate, it is not the same.
Just as so many times people are saying and we are hearing that they don’t like the young ones to come to make zikir with us, these mothers and the fathers, they don’t want their children to come and make zikir but they want their children to go out to make zina outside. And to drink and to take drugs outside. That they have no problem. They feel proud and they go to their friends saying, ‘you know, my son, he did this, my daughter she did that…,’ coming with shorts, coming with their boyfriends and the girlfriends, they are not going to say nothing. But if their children are coming for zikir, they say this is entering into cult, terrorism, this and that! This is completely Sheytan. You think, the mother that is forbidding her children from coming to the zikir, to make salawats to the Holy Prophet (AS), that mother is ahlil Jannat? That mother has Jannat under her feet? She has hell under her feet!
So, we have to be very smart. We have to understand, not just to take something blindly. Those ones who are serving to their husbands, their husbands are serving Allah and His Prophet, on the day of judgement they are not going to be asked anything. Allah is just going to address to them, ‘Husband, are you please with your wife? With this one?’ The husband is going to judge, the husband is going to say, ‘Yes, Ya Rabbi.’ Then Allah SWT is going to say to the angels, ‘take this one and bring her to any doors of Paradise, let her to enter forever.’
Holy Prophet (AS) wives and the wives of the sahabi e-kiram, the wives of Hazreti Abu Bakr, the wives of Hazreti Umar, Hazreti Ali, Hazreti Osman. Hazreti Fatimah, Hazreti Aisyah, the wives of the Holy Prophet (AS), Hazreti Fatimah, his daughter and so many other wives that he had, you don’t see them coming forward to give their ideas. You don’t see them going forward to give sohbet, to do this and that. New style now, they are saying, so many saints, they are also following Sheykha. There’s no Sheykha in Islam. All these are wrong ideas but because we are so weak and we follow feminism, we are following the west, and now they are pushing that agenda forward and they are making the men to become so weak. And the men became so weak, then this is what’s going to happen. But wives of the Holy Prophet (AS) and the wives of the sahabi e-kiram, they submitted to their husbands and they completely obey their huband.
Live Question & Answer session with Lokman Efendi, the khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibris (qs)
Osmanli Dergahi – New York