What should one do when ‘losing control’ after joining the Tarikat?


QUESTION: Since I started learning about Naksibendi Tarikat and changing my life style, it has become difficult to have some control in life. I feel like I am being controlled and can’t do anything right nor do what I want to do. Thousands of thoughts come to my mind that I can’t control; thoughts about life, about work, about many things at once. It makes me tired and lose interest in many activities. Sometimes I forget what I did a few minutes ago. Why do I feel this way? What should I do?

Sheykh Mevlana Muhamad Nazim Adil al-HakkaniWelcome to Jihad-ul Akhbar. You think it’s easy?

This is the biggest fight, the biggest struggle. You don’t enter into Tarikat to think that you have entered into Jannat. So many people, they have this idea that they enter into Tarikat and, ‘oh, we are in Jannat. So peaceful, so nice. Nirvana.’ They are thinking that way because they are reading (from books about Tarikat).

No, it is NOT.

greatest jihad

Welcome to the struggle. This is the struggle. You accept the struggle isn’t it? And this is the biggest struggle isn’t it? so this is part of the struggle. So struggle. It’s okay. It’s good.

Why this is happening to you?

Because you are in Tarikat.

You don’t want all this, don’t enter into Tarikat. But you are not going to be easy outside too. Don’t think that, ‘okay, if I don’t enter into Tarikat, my life is going to be easy.’

For some time, it’s going to be easy. But after that, all these things and thousands more time heavier is going to come to you and that time, you have no one to consult, no one to be with.

This is what is call Tarikat. Real tarikat has to shake you. It has to. Real tarikat, everything has to come down on top of your head. That is what real tarikat is. Because now, what is it doing? It is going to destroy the falsehood. You are building up a false existence, it must destroy. It must beat it up. You are making false idols, it must destroy, it must beat it up. You are making false ideas, your whole life, you are making up idols, outside and inside, it has to be destroyed now.

‘Oh, but I don’t like it. It hurts too much.’

Of course it is going to hurt. It is not too much. Allah will not test you something that you cannot carry. And you are going in the way of Tarikat, especially Tarikat-ul Aliyya, the highest most distinguished Tarikat, this is what you are supposed to feel.

So many people may disagree with me, ‘No, Tarikat is all about love,’ some saying, ‘it’s all about being drunk…..’

SahibulSaifYou can say, I’m not going to argue with you. As you like. You follow that kind of teaching, as  you like. There’s so many teachings within this Tarikat. We follow, Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen, we follow SahibulSaif’s teachings, according to Sultan-ul Awliya. And that’s what we are a taking our guidance from.

Now, maybe people don’t understand what Sufism is. So they enter Sufism, thinking about other ideas. From books, they said, Sufism is being drunk, intoxicated. From other books, it’s all about love. From other books, it is all about letting go. So there’s all these different ideas. Wrong! I’m saying to you, wrong!

Once you enter into real Tarikat, they are going to break everything. If you are sincere, they will. If you are not sincere, they may say, keep this for a while, be drunk still. Later it is going to come.

This is the Jihad-ul Akhbar. You cannot deny that. This is the greatest struggle. Now you are going to struggle with yourself. You are going to struggle  with everything. Good. It is good. Then that’s the time you are going to discover yourself. You are going to discover yourself; why yourself? how yourself? who is yourself? All these questions you are going to ask, because now, they are forcing you to ask. All these different thoughts are going to come and you think, ‘oh, I’m such a nice person, I’m such a peaceful person,’ but they touch you a little bit, things come crushing down, and all these thoughts come to you. Where these thoughts come from? From outside?


NO, from inside.

So, you have such a high opinion of yourself before, now you understand the reality. Now you understand the reality of  your ego. Now you understand the reality of the evil that is inside of you. That is not even the whole reality. You are going to go crazy if they unveil it completely. Slowly you come to that understanding. Haa, then that time, when you slowly try to fix yourself, then you are going to build a strong foundation. You are going to build a very strong foundation.

Because now, in Tarikat, it is not like, oh you finish with shariat, you finish with Iman, you finish with Islam, now you are going to go to Ihsan. No, no, no, it is not that. Now you are going to start all over again, and now you are going to understand the Ihsan is the  foundations beneath the foundation.

Some they say, ‘oh, you know, all these things, Shariat and everything is to build a foundation, build a house and everything, and now the decoration, it is Sufism.’

It is NOT.

Now you understand that Sufism is not decoration. It is not something extra. It is not ornament. It is not something that is unnecessary, it is not optional. Now you understand that Tasawwuf is the essence of your Iman. It is the essence of the Islam. It is the reality of that. And then you understand, ‘ohh…, the foundation I’ve built before, that is the wrong foundation. I thought I have Islam, I thought I have Iman.’ It is wrong because now Ihsan, it will come down from inside and push everything out again. That’s the time when  you have found a Sheykh and you are following Tasawwuf properly.

You are going to destroy everything,  you are going to destroy your own foundation and you are going to build a new foundation. That is what Tasawwuf is. That is what following a Sheykh is. Everything must come down for  you to build, to become real again.

Don’t we know this already? I’m saying something that is different?

What happens when  you enter into that grave? You are going to come with  your physical body into that grave and it’s going to stay that way, and that same body is going to go to judgement day and it’s going to go to Jannat?

No it is not. That body will change. I’m not speaking about the Prophet and the saints that they’ve already gone through the life of the grave here on earth, the life of the judgement day here on earth, and the life of cleaning themselves up here on earth. That they are already ahlil jannat. Before they even enter into the kubur. I’m talking about regular people like me and you.

deathSo, the body must change. The body must change. The body that goes inside, it must be finished. Then it will be resurrected again, on the judgement  you get another body.

Now, on the judgement day, things may happen to you. Now the body has to change again. Finally after all of that, even after you have to go, may Allah not put us into the fire, but if that is also part of the journey and if the destination of that journey it is the Paradise,  you don’t even bring that body now to go to the Paradise, you have to go to the pond, the river of Qausar to clean yourself.

The body now has to go to another transformation to enter into the Paradise.

So, we know this. So likewise, we are going to go through a lot when we enter into this doorway of the reality, which is what?


A Dervish is the one who stands on the doorway. A Dergah, it is a threshold of the Divine court. ‘Gah’ is a court. ‘Der’ it is a threshold. Dervish, is the one who stands in the threshold.

So Alhmadulillah, if things are turning upside down. That’s the time you have to hold on more strongly to your guide and you have to ask your guide, ‘help me. Now, things are happening, where should I turn, where should I go? What are the things that I should be doing?’

And your guide may tell you and that’s the time when things may change permanently, for the better. This may not happen to everyone. But if it is happening to you. It is good. It happens to so many of us. So many people failed and the said, ‘oh this is not what I signed up for.’

They think, ‘now I become murid, everything is going to be perfect. Everything is going to be so nice and sweet. Janat.’

No, you have to go through a process of purification.

Allahu Alam Bisawab.



Sohbet by Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, the khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs)  OSMANLI DERGAHI – New York March 19, 2013

This entry was posted in Hoja Lokman Effendi (2013). Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to What should one do when ‘losing control’ after joining the Tarikat?

  1. sociable7 says:

    Subhan’Allah. Brother just keep a hold of your Shaykhs Jubaa/Chador. The wind is heavy and will try to blow you away but Insha’Allah with the Sohbat of your Shaykh and by Serving them, the path will be made easier. Just hang in there then you will see what others dream of. They are like a tree trunk, you are the branches don’t be a twig that breaks and leaves his Master.

    On a side note, so nice to see Brothers of the Naqshbandi Tariqa in America, NY. noor on the blesssed Shaykh.

    Your Brother, UK (Mureed of Hazrat Khwaja Mohammad Aslam Mujjadadi Aslami)

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