How do I stop my ego from keeping me in fear? Most times when I come close to coming to association in sohbet, I get fear. I fear that I am not good enough to go because of my fearful energy and I do not show up. I do zikir and solat at home, and i’m not afraid. Being in Jamaat scares my ego. How do I stop this and strengthen my courage to be with everyone?
Slowly. Don’t rush. But don’t wait too long too. Allah is ordering us to be in Jama’at. Sheytan wants us to be alone. The Angels, they were in Jama’at making sejdah to Adam (a.s). Sheytan pulled himself out. He says. ‘I don’t want to be in this Jama’at. I want to be alone.’
The understanding, and has become the, not only a concept or a philosophy, it’s become a brainwashing ideal in this century is that, everyone is alone. We want to be alone. Everyone is alienating and they start to romanticise it. They start to make it look like it is something that is so great.
Yes, in reality, everyone is alone. We are not going to enter into that, what we are in reality. It’s how we are supposed to be conducting ourselves, how we are supposed to live in this world. And Allah is saying, ‘be in Jama’at.’ One of Allah’s name is Jami.
Allah say, ‘Only I am alone.’
Only Allah is Ahad, Allah is Wah. But that quality is not given to human. That quality is not given to His creations. We are in Jama’at, especially living in this life.
So, to be in association, Tarikat, especially in the Naksibendi Tarikat, it is always to be in Association. And only goodness will come from that association.
The sheytan is saying, ‘don’t be in association. It’s better to be alone.’
And we all know that, we all feel that, one way or another, living especially in this 21st century Western part of the world, we all know that and they are pushing for that loneliness, and that the loneliness to overtake you. And you know that this is very dangerous, and if it’s not guided, it will lead us to the fire. Here and hereafter.
It has to be guided.
Loneliness, it is the most frightening thing that can ever happen to a man.
When he was going to go to the Mi’raj, when he reached to the Sidratul Muntaha,when Jibreel (a.s) says, ‘Ya Rasulullah (asws), now I have to leave you.You have to make your journey alone now, to meet your Lord, alone.’
And Prophet (asws) is saying, ‘you are going to leave your friend?’
Hz Jibreel (a.s), the arch angel Jibreel is saying, ‘I cannot even take one centimetre, one millimetre forward in the direction that you are going, because the Divine Light that is there will burn me. It will completely finish me.’
Who is saying this?
What is he saying?
‘I cannot come so close to Allah. This is the limit that I can come close to the Divine Presence, beyond that I cannot. ‘
It’s just Sidratul Muntaha. It’s not Divine Presence. And now, we know that the Arch Angel Jibreel, that he has over 6000 wings, that he is so huge, that with one wing he covers from East to West, that his form when Prophet (asws) saw a little bit of his form, his physical being could not take it and he started to get sick from just looking at that arch Angel. And that huge Arch Angel is saying, ‘I cannot move one milimeter to Divine Presence, or else I’m going to be perished and completely finish with that Divine light.’
And now, we have so many people claiming, ‘I’m in Divine Presence.’ Or ‘I was in Divine Presence,’ or pushing themselves to want to be in Divine Presence. You are understanding, what you are?
Maybe that one who ask, a little bit, he is understanding.
Your ego is playing tricks with you, of course. But ego is playing tricks because it understands that it’s being threatened. Because the circle of zikir, the associations, they are Holy associations, they are Divine association, they are Heavenly association, they are association of Paradise. And who is scared, who is fearful from entering it?
Only the ego, and only sheytan.
You are not. You have the spirit, but sheytan and your ego is playing tricks with you, to pull you away. That is understandable.
First, know that Allah is Jami, the One who gathers. The One who gathers. And it is an order for us to be in Jama’at. Goodness comes from the Jama’at. The blessing rains from the Jama’at. Meaning what?
The curses that you carry, goes away. The confusion that you have, it will slowly starts to disappear. Your doubt and your fear will disappear once you enter through that door, to be in this Holy association, not unholy association, Holy.
If you stay away from Jama’at, sheytan is happy. If you come to the Jama’at, to association, Allah will be happy. His Prophet will be happy. So it depends on who you want to please. If you want to come to our association, our door is open. Don’t be scared.
We are all here with our own dirtiness that we are bringing, that we want to clean ourselves from.
And this is not an association of Saints, meaning, nobody here is going to tell you what to do. If they do then you are going to let me know. I’ll fix it. Nobody needs to interfere, nobody can interfere to anyone. And this association, it is protected.
What are we doing?
We are just sitting, we are making zikir, we are worshipping, we are drinking tea. What are you going to lose?
What are you going to gain?
You are going to make Allah and His Prophet happy. You are going to make your Sheykh happy. Because Allah is saying, ‘be in Jama’at.’
If you are alone, if you separate yourself from the flock, from the herd, that is the time when the wolves, they are going to get you. The weakest of the sheep, if you are together in a big number, together in a flock, the wolves are not going to come. If you are a strong one, but if you separate yourself from the flock, it’s very easy at that time for the wolves and the hyenas to come and to get you.
So this fear, it is unfounded. This fear, it is coming from the ego. This fear, if you fear that you are too dirty, and you don’t deserve, don’t think that way. And in reality if you are really hard on your ego and you said, ‘you know what, that’s precisely what you needed. That’s exactly why you need to come to association, to the zikir circle. Not because of me, of him, or whoever is there. Not because of us, but because it is a circle, it is a zikir, the remembrance of Allah. Allah and His beloved one.’ Allah and His prophet and His Saints and His Angels, thy will be there and they will clean you up. Not us.
But if you know that, ‘okay, I’m sick,’ then that’s the time you say, ‘I have to go to the doctor. I fear the doctor, but what is the alternative?’
You are going to get more and more sick. Then maybe that time, it’s going to be too late. But the way is open and understand that while the opportunity is given to you and you are not coming because you are fearful, then it’s an unfounded fear, like what we said.
Understand that we have thousands of people, believe me, out there, who would kill to be in your position where they can come for zikir. There are thousands of people out there, who are being killed because they are making zikir and entering into Holy Association.
So, Allah has given you that chance, insyaAllah, may your way be open, may it be easy.
Sohbet by Hoja Lokman Effendi Hz
April 14, 2013