Question: How are we supposed to behave with parents who are against the Dergah?They complain and misjudge me when I try to speak less. When I try to be friendly with them, it affects my faith and sincerity. My past relationship with my parents were not very good and so I have been struggling with my emotions against them since long, I wish to satisfy only our Shaykh. How do I find a balance ?
Be patient. You are living with them, they have rights over you. You are under their roof. They have the right to say. You have your own room, stay in your room. Don’t fight with them. If their heart is not turn, no amount of talking or fighting with them is going to change their heart, or they are going to change their mind. Just be patient. Leave them alone. Pray to Allah swt that their heart is open. If you are not living with them, then that time if they start saying all these things that is against to Tarikat, just close one ear. Turn your face.
Why do you have to fight again? They don’t understand. When people understand, then that time, they will know. Pray for them and be patient. If you have your own independence, then that time you have the freedom to practice your belief. If you are living with them, you don’t have that much freedom, wait until you get that freedom. Don’t fight. It is not necessary.
Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
December 6, 2014