Question: I feel that I joined Tarikat late and it upsets me. How do I catch up?
You didn’t enter into the Tarikat late. Everyone enter into Tarikat at the proper time, at the right time when you should be entering. Some entering when they are very young, but after a while they get bored and they leave. Isn’t it? Some entering and they stay for years, for decades. They do so many things but later they changed their mind. Some, they enter young, they spent so much time with us, sleeping on the floor with us , shoveling the snow with us, worshiping with us, doing all these things but the ego trick them and say, ‘you are going to do this all your life? World is waiting out there. Why don’t you become a professor?’ all that time now, is not really benefiting them. And they know it.
I understand though, you say, ‘I entered late. I wish I entered younger. I can do more, da.. da..da’ Don’t look at it from your eyes. Look at it through different eyes. The idea is not early or late. The idea is how you finish the race. That is important. How you finish it? So many, they enter early but they are not finishing. They make a detour. They deviated. They left. They gave up. Allahu’alam if they are going to come back. We pray that they come back. But the rules may change a little bit that time when they come back, when they do.
So what are you interested in? if you are interested to finish it well, then you are going to work. Then you are going to run faster, because you want to finish it well. How are you going to finish it well? You are going to carry the responsibility that is for you and you are not going to sit and wait for others to tell you. You are going to get up and you are going to do it yourself. Because there is a wisdom, there is a hikmah, there is a wisdom, a secret in those ones that they come late, and they feel bad. They said, ‘I must catch up,’ so they do more. Second year they say, ‘Still, very late. I must catch up.’ So that feeling now is kicking in all the time.
That is the feeling you should have and that actually pushes you in front , it doesn’t bring you back because you always feel, ‘this is not enough. I’ve wasted my life. This is not enough, I’ve wasted my life. This is not enough, I’ve wasted my life, I wish I’ve met Sheykh Effendi earlier.’ But for those who met him early and they get bored, because what they want is an adventure, they are not there to serve, to build a community, they want adventure, what do you think is going to happen to them? There’s no drive now. And when there’s no drive, there’s no fire, the fire you put it out already, doesn’t matter that time, if there is no fire, pretty soon you are also going to make a detour.
Keep the fire alive. This is for me and for you. Keep that fire alive.
This feeling that, ‘Oh, I entered late. I must catch up, I must catch up,’ that is a fire that is keeping you alive. Find that fire. For some it is, ‘Oh, I made so many mistakes. What can I do? I must do this, I must do this, I must do this. Oh I made so many mistakes still. I must do this.’ That is the fire. Some, ‘Oh I remember Sheykh Effendi was here and he wants to do this and this, and now there’s still work to be done. I must run to do this and this and this. To continue it.’ Find whatever fire it is. But if you put out that fire, that time you can be inside the Kaba, building the Kaba, or inside Sheykh Effendi’s tomb, building his tomb, you have no fire, you don’t see the point anymore, sheytan and your ego is sitting on your neck, and that’s the time that even if you are involve in the most holy, the most important things, you give up. And you say, ‘the world is shining out there, I have to go.’
It happened to the Sahaba e-Kiram. Don’t think it’s not going to happen to us. It happened to the companions of the Prophet (asws). May Allah not test us. InsyaAllah
Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
January 15, 2015