Question : How can I stand by and be faithful to my tawba?
You made a tawba and you made a promise not to return back to that wrong action. How you can keep your promise?
By remembering your promise every time you are attempted to do that. By remembering your promise, not only every time you are tempted but to remember your promise when you are not tempted. By remembering your promise weekly. By remembering your promise daily.
When you keep your promise alive in your heart and to keep your promise is to make your Lord happy. If you keep that alive, you will be able to stand by. Then maybe when the time comes, because you are, every time you remember, you have a shield in front of you. Every time you remember, you have another shield. But sometimes, the sheytan it goes through, the ego, it goes through and you are tempted to do it. Maybe when you are just about to do it, some help somewhere reaches to turn you cold towards that. Or some mercy reaches to you because you are feeling very bad and very sorry and you are running to try to fix it, and that time maybe even sheytan will warn you against doing it, as it happened to that Sahabi, the one who missed the Fajr prayer behind the Holy Prophet (asws).
And because he missed the Fajr prayer, he decided to punish his ego, saying now, ‘O my ego, you managed to trick me, so for one year I’m not going to sleep to punish you.’ And he carried it out. One day, such heaviness was falling to him after that one year that he was going to miss the Fajr prayer again, sheytan woke him up and he says, ‘get up and pray.’
He says, ‘O ma’lum, why you are making me to do something good?’
Sheytan says, ‘because you punished yourself for that one year because you miss one Fajr prayer, you got so much reward with that. It’s better that you get up for one fajr and not get so many rewards because you are punishing yourself.’
So yes, Allah’s mercy it comes in so many different ways. Allah’s mercy, we may say it is creative. But you have to understand your ego and you have to have power over it. InsyaAllah, may we be the ones who are faithful. We are very weak creatures. We are very dirty creatures. We are no good for nothing. That much we know. But we are asking for the mercy to reach to us and for us to be good for something, for us to be good ones to our Sheykh, to our Prophet and to Allah swt. For their sake, for all our sins to be forgiven. For their sake, for all our good deeds to be accepted.
For the sake of the Holy Prophet (asws), we are praying also for all those ones who are suffering in this world, all those ones who are under oppression, all those ones who are being tyrannize, their rights are being taken away, we are praying for them and we are asking Allah to send the one who is going to come to safe this world. To send Hazreti Mahdi (as) soon. To send our SahibulSaif soon. WaminaAllahu Taufiq Al -Fatiha.
Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI New York
January 23, 2015