How should we take care of our children?


Question: How should we take care of  our children?


That is actually a very good question. We need a Sheykh, and to be in association with him. We need to have a good jamaat. That time you are not going to be alone to take care of them. You’ll have now, if he grows up and we are all living here, he has one father but he has twenty uncles, he’s going to watch himself twenty times before he does anything. And over and above, he has our Sheykh and when he sees his father looking at the Sheykh and twenty uncles looking at the Sheykh, instinctively he is going to look at the Sheykh too. And he’s going to now, he’s going to change, he’s going to calm down.

It is not to make all the kids to become robots. But all the kids now, to make them to grow properly so that the weeds are not going to hold them back, so that they have enough water and enough nourishment, so that they don’t grow up mutated or distorted. The way that this society is frame, they are going to grow up to be like that.

We are just talking about skills when we were young, skills that are necessary and skills that are not necessary. We were joking and I said, it’s better when you are a kid to learn how to climb trees than it is to play basketball. Of course basketball is fun but everybody knows how damaging it is to you, physically. What are you going to do with it? And who are the people playing? And what are they teaching? And what is the culture of all of that? Nobody can say it’s Prophetic, or it makes you to become a good person, but it’s fun. We cannot wipe that out. But at least teach them something that in the old days, teach them a skill, when they are growing up, you are imprinting them, you are hard-wiring them, you are giving them certain things, certain seeds, you are putting into them that later on they find it easy now because there is an opening, there is an access.

So to grow up in a big community, that has always been part of Islam. Big community, big families, the kids grow up now, if he grows up with whole brothers and sisters: five, six, seven, eight, in the old days it’s very common, the father has couple of brothers, they all also have eight (children), so anywhere you turn, left and right, you have fifty cousins. You think the kid now, from a young age he’s not going to become more intelligent? because he has fifty cousins and everyone is a different personality, he’s not going to understand what politics is? what diplomacy is? what kindness is? what being sleek is? what being streetwise is hmm? Before he goes to school, he’s going to know; this one is weak, my cousin, I have to help him. This one is very smart, I have to be careful. This one if I turn, he’s going to take my cookie, I cannot now cry to mommy everytime he takes my cookie.

So the kid now starts thinking at an early age. Not just playing. Not playing computer game that fries their brain cells. Not just looking at cartoons and bright colors then later when they grow up, they take drugs to relive those same kind of experience: bright colors and psychedelic experiences. The kid now will grow up to become more mature and he will look for things that is going to satisfy him, that is going to satisfy also the community.

InsyaAllah. If Allah gives us long life. We are waiting, InsyaAllah, soon for SahibulSaif to return, for Hareti Mahdi (as) to come, but until then, we plant the date tree. It’s all that we can do.

naksibendi kidsnaksibendi kid

  WaminaAllahu Taufiq. AlFatiha.

Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York

November 2014


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