Question : My past sins are causing me a lot of pain. I have broke people’s hearts in the past. I am afraid of dying in this state. I have asked for forgiveness by some and some whom I hurt are dead. One person ‘forgives’ but later says they are ‘not sure’ if they forgive me. How do I get my past sins off my conscience?
You have a Sheykh? Don’t worry. You have a Sheykh, you have a very good lawyer. Lawyer can strike a deal with the Judge. Judge will look at you as a complete criminal but the Judge knows the lawyer, and the lawyer talks to the Judge. Judge will not even look at you. Judge looks at the lawyer. He says, ‘you know what? I like you.’ And Judge is saying to the lawyer, ‘whatever you say, I trust, anyway. Say whatever you say. Whatever that you are approving, I will approve. I’m not even going to look, to check, to see.’ You understand?
Because our religion is based on Shafa’at. That’s why we have ‘Muhammadur Rasulullah.’ Alhamdulillah for that. If we only have ‘La ilaha illallah,‘ we are all in trouble. Alhamdulillah we have Muhammadur Rasulullah. So look for the living representative of the Prophet. That that one can just turn his head and say, ‘I didn’t hear anything you say that you did wrong. To me, I didn’t hear nothing.’ So, Allah is going to ask and he is going to say, ‘I didn’t hear nothing ya Rasulullah.’ ‘Ya Allah, I didn’t hear anything.’ And Allah is going to say, ‘okay, I’m listening to you.’ You understand?
You are trying, asking for forgiveness, you are praying, your heart is still not completely satisfied. That’s the time you have to find a Sheykh, you have to sit with him and in order for shafa’at to really be effective, it’s not enough just to say, ‘I love my Sheykh.’ In reality, how can anyone not love the friend of Allah? But the important thing is to make sure that that friend of Allah loves you. To make sure that you put yourself in his heart. If you put yourself in his heart, he brings you wherever he is.
Definitely, we are not worth it. That’s why in Islam, we always say, ‘may we always be the dust under the feet of our Sheykh. Dust under the feet of the Prophet (asws).’ Because that is our reality. We are dust. Dust cannot enter into our house, isn’t it? Dust cannot enter into the Paradise. But if the Holy Prophet (asws) has been given permission to even enter into the Divine Presence, to step on the Arsh and enter the Divine presence with his shoes, that means there is a chance for the dust to be with him. That’s why we are putting this (Hoja pointed to the Nalain Shareef) on top of our head. This is his shoe. We are under him. So be dust. Don’t be nothing else. Understand that you are, think how you are and remember them. Then that time, wherever Prophet is, wherever his representative is, then our Sheykh wherever he is, we are dust under his feet we will be with him. That’s the time not only forgiveness, Sakinah will enter. What is Sakinah? The pleasure of Allah.
So, insyaAllah, May it be easy for you, for us, for the sincere ones. We have to wake up. Don’t be in ghaflat. What stops us from being that dust? Ohh, stubbornness, anger, stops us. That time we are not a dust, we are thorn under his feet. Jealousy, arrogance, these have thousand and one tricks. Thousands of tricks. Get rid of them until we become pure like dust. Of course there’s a big secret in that too. Although dust is dirty, but still dust is clean, isn’t it? We make Tayammum, Tahayyum with dust. So, we must transform this earth, this dust, into a dust that is pure. InsyaAllah.
Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York, 2014