If I swallow my pride will I look weak in front of others?


Question: I was in the situation when I was mistreated with arrogance, and I zipped up my pride and swallowed it. Alhamdulillah, it is good. but I am thinking that the person may have the upper hand. What should one do in this situation as I let it go and that person may see it as a sign of weakness. But that is not the case.


Who cares what he thinks! You are doing it for whose sake? For Allah’s sake right? So if you are doing it for Allah’s sake, Allah is watching. Who cares what the person who is trying to be a tyrant to you thinks? Whether you are weak or you are this or you are  that, you are doing it to please Allah. Finish. That is the first step. So, once you step on your ego, what happens? You become lower? No, you become higher. You become weaker?  No, you become stronger, then that time help and understanding is going to come to you. And you will know then what to do the next time, and the next time, and the next time.

That is when the sohbets, they are necessary for you. Because the sohbet is what? The ammunition against to sheytan. Sheytan and sheytanic people. Then you know how to behave. First step maybe you keep quiet, you walk away. Then, after that, you start drawing a line, a boundary and you say, ‘don’t pass your limit. I’m not attacking you. I’m not doing anything. But you are passing the limits. Stop that!’

You are running away from conflict, but if they are coming to you, you have to defend. Isn’t that what we do, as Muslims? Yes. It’s not just to sit and to let other people to walk all over you too. No, that’s not the case. You will not come to that situation if you are really doing it with the correct intention. Help will come to you. You say now, you know what, they are attacking you, so make Hijra, what Holy Prophet (asws) did. You understand? They are attacking you, you walk away. You make hijra. They are still coming, they are still coming, that time, you will defend. And that time, you will defend good and the enemy is going to be crushed because you are being patient and being patient and being patient.

Holy Prophet is being patient 23 years. When he came to the point of zulm, of oppression, he walked away.  But still they came. When they struck on the battle of Badr, it was not revenge. The Sahaba e-Kiram did not have all that anger for twenty three years. A man would not survive that long, having the fire of revenge without killing, without everything he touched turning  into evil, if you have that kind of anger and revenge, correct? They are finished with that. That’s why Allah swt is saying, ‘now you throw, but you are not the one who is throwing. We are. You strike, but we are the ones who’s going to take the life.’

Don’t fight. Walk away. Defend yourself. If you are in sohbet, consultation, then you will know what to do. May it be easy, InsyaAllah.


 Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI NY, 2014

This entry was posted in Hoja Lokman Effendi (2014). Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s