Question: I have been following you for about a year but I cannot sleep comfortably because I put myself to accounting. I try to live properly but realize I am a toy of sheytan. I fall prey to his tricks every time and I’m tired of living like this. In the past, I could sleep easily because I was a friend of sheytan. What is the solution to this?
I am asking, what is the problem? You want to sleep? Is the problem that you cannot sleep? If you have a problem that you cannot sleep, there’s so many things you can do to sleep. If you are saying that you are taking yourself into accounting and it’s troubling you so much that you cannot sleep, then there is something wrong in the way that you take yourself to accounting. And there is something wrong that you are trying to fix your life with it. You sit and you understand where you’ve gone wrong. What do you do? If you are running to fix it, if you are running to clean up, you will feel clean, you will feel relax. Because you have paid a debt.
You have done something, it is like a debt. It’s piling up. You are thinking, ‘I have so much debt.’ If you pay your debt, you will sleep easy. But, if you are thinking now, ‘oh, I have so much debt, I suddenly realise I have so much debt,’ but you are not paying your debt although you realise it, you are never going to sleep easy until you pay it. What is it that you are doing to pay off this debt?
It’s understanding, you take yourself for accounting things that you are doing and it’s not pleasing to Allah that you are still a friend of sheytan. Are you following? Are you putting the sohbet into your life? Are you being in a jamaat? Are you following easy? If you are, if you are with the Saliheen, it’s impossible. If you still feel that you are, be with the Saliheen more and consult. Because there is something that you are doing that is not correct there. InsyaAllah, may it be easy for you.
Depression and hopelessness, it is definitely a tool of sheytan. Sheytan wants to make you to feel depress. If you are running in the way of Allah and you are saying Astaghfirullah Al-Azim Wa Atubu Ilaih, if your saying astarghfirullah is making you to feel worse, there is something wrong with your astarghfirullah. How we can be when Allah is commanding us to say astarghfirullah, that is going to bring so much blessings, and you are saying it and instead of being light, you become heavier. There is something wrong with your astarghfirullah. What are you expecting? What are you hoping to get? What are you doing?
InsyaAllah, if I know this one, if you have taken beyat with us, we may speak more personally. Now because this is something that is very personal, I’m not going to open it up in public so much. But this is very specific, that a lot of people they fall into that trap sometimes. They get so tired. They are saying, ‘I’m trying, I’m trying, it’s still not working. I’m still not making progress.’ But when we dig down deep inside, then we realise that you are not trying properly. You are saying you are trying. It’s like those ones, they have the book open in front of them for hours. What are you doing? ‘I’m studying.’ What are you doing? ‘I’m studying.’ When the test comes, they fail the test. They say, ‘but what did I do? I had my book open in front of me.’ But did you really study? That is something else. We will speak, InsyaAllah.
SelamAleykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu
Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
12 Jamadilakhir 1436H
April 2, 2015