I become arrogant when someone praises me. How can I stop this?


Question: When someone praises me, I forget everything and become arrogant, what can I do to stop this?

praise be to Allah

Why are you believing when someone is praising you? Why are you believing? That means you don’t know yourself. What are you busy with?  You are busy with knowing that you are good? or you are busy with believing and knowing and experiencing that you are bad? Even if you do good, why you got to be proud of it? It is because of you that you are doing it?

Everything good is coming from Allah. But everything bad that happens, it is because of our nafs. Come around our circle a little bit more, then we’ll take that sickness out from you: to forget everything and to become arrogant when someone praises you. Because it is showing  what you are concentrating on. Maybe in the beginning, when you are young, especially in this country where they are concentrating on self-esteem. Sheykh Effendi is saying, ‘Self-Esteem.’  From cradle until they become adult, praising non-stop. Expecting people to praise them. When you know who you are, what you can do, what you cannot do, you don’t need anyone to praise you. Because you know yourself. You don’t need anyone to praise you. If the whole world praises you, you are not going to be flying. The whole world curses at you, you are not going to be crushed. Because you know who you are. The one who knows himself, he knows his Lord.

We are concentrating on our nafs. How can a man who is concentrating on his nafs believe that he is being praised? How can he ever believe? No, it’s not false modesty. It’s not , ‘oh, no, no, no, no,’ but inside he is liking it. It’s not even the opposite of that, beating himself up over it. No. He is relaxed. He says, ‘I know where I was. I know where I am. I know where I need to be. And it doesn’t match to what people are saying, so it’s not my fault.’ If you are understanding that, if you are understanding yourself, you become a very strong one that time. Because you are not depending on others to build you up.

You know, I had a friend who is saying, he’s American too, years ago he’s saying to me, ‘you know, no matter what they say about the modern women, that she’s so educated, she’s so liberal, she’s so strong, she’s so proud, say to a woman, any woman,’ and because he’s American, he’s talking about the American context. ‘Say to her what happened, today you look fat and you look old? That woman is finished. No matter how smart, how intelligent, how liberated, educated, they get very upset.’ And of course, nowadays, it applies to everyone. Men and women too. Because their concentration is how they look to others. Concentration is not how you look to your Lord, how you look to your Prophet (asws), how you look to your Sheykh.

‘How do I look?’ We must be shy if our Sheykh looks at us. You’ll shiver if he looks. So, how are you going to stop this? You are going to understand. How are you going to understand? You are going to be with the Ahle zikr. It’s not a three minute answer I’m going to give you, you are going to take it and you are going to… No. Arrogance, it is very deep and it’s a very major disease that hundreds and thousands of tricks and traps come from that. You have to know every trick and trap to be able to destroy it, to be able to use it. To be able to step on it. If you are still being stuck at that level, no matter how much worship you make, the Paradise is going to be forbidden to you. Isn’t  that what the Holy Prophet (asws) said? ‘Anyone who even has an ounce of arrogance, pride, Jannat is haram for them.’

That’s why the Ahle Tarikat, they are looking at the root of the problem and they are trying to fix that. They are not looking to the branches. Root of the problem. How to get rid of this. This is one of four major ones they are connected to. So if you want to stop it you have to be around those ones who are working towards that too, who knows the way. The way, it is handed down. The way, it is thousands of years old. The way comes with support, like it is fresh and alive, from yesterday, from right now. Not that it is old. You understand? And in these days, it’s not too many who are having that secret. Our Sheykh has that. Not too many. Others they play games with other things but they are not looking to the disease of the person, of the spirit.

How many they come to us, they like us, ‘oh we worship, we are doing this, we are doing that,’ but they said, ‘they are only talking about ego. When are they going to talk about spirituality? When are they going to talk about different worlds? When they are going to talk about visions and karsh?’ If there are still poison inside of you, whatever they pour into you will turn into poison too. May Allah help us to get rid of that poison, insyaAllah. We are not running for that. Those ones who are running for that, dajjal is giving that. Those who are running for syariat, those who are running for manners, those who are running for discipline, that is what Hazreti Mahdi (as) is offering. And we are running to him, insyaAllah. Of course we are not worth, but that is our intention. It is our goal. May Allah forgive me and bless all of you. Al-Fatiha. Amin

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Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz, Khalifah of Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs) * OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York

5 Rajab 1436H

April 24, 2015

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