Question : Lately I find myself feeling jealousy and I don’t like it. I’m not sure why all of the sudden this is happening. I know this is haram and I want to stop. Can you please tell what I can do to stop these feeling?
BismillahirRahmanirRahim. It is a very good question. Jealousy. Especially a jealousy, I don’t know if you are a man or a woman speaking but I have a strong feeling you are a woman. Doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman having this. Jealousy is one of the major sins. Jealousy is what made the Azazil, the one who learns a lot, the one who has a lot of knowledge to turn from Azazil to become a sheytan. Jealousy it is something that this world continuously gives to the people living in this world to make us to become slaves to this system.
Jealousy, a desire: That one has something, I don’t have it. I must go get it or I’m going to not like that person so much. I’m going to ask for bad things to happen to that person. And it’s making me to be overtaken by this feeling. I wake up with this, I go to sleep with this. That every small things that happens now, because you already made up your mind, every little thing, even when it’s not there, you are going to say, ‘you see, this is proof. Why I’m becoming a victim, because somebody is doing this to me and I have the right to be jealous.’
Jealousy, it is a very major problem that if you are not getting out from, especially from the system of this world, it will consume you and it will take you. What are you jealous about? What are you thankful about? You are jealous because someone has something and you don’t? Maybe one thing that it’s okay for us to be jealous: when we see someone better than us, in what way? In the way of religion. In the way of spirituality. You can feel bad. And you can say, ‘that one is controlling his anger. That one is worshipping a lot. That one is Halim and Salim. And I’m feeling this way. Shame must be on me.’
Don’t be busy with it. Because there is no basis now for that jealousy. Allah swt has created your rizq, whatever that you need, before He created you. Whatever that is supposed to be for you, you are going to get even if it’s one grain of rice, you are going to get before you die. So this is something that overtake you. Are you sitting down to think? It’s very difficult when you are jealous, to think. Isn’t it? What do you need to do? Go and consult with someone. When you are sick, you consult with a doctor. You know that you have some symptoms, and if you take some medicine, it might make you feel good, but still, you go and see a doctor. And the doctor will look at you and he will pinpoint it.
Alhamdulillah, like this or like that, we are speaking something. We are using that technology. Maybe there are certain problems that you have and you ask and we are able to speak certain things. But that technology has limitations. This kind of set up has limitations. If you are here face to face with us, if you are here privately, we may speak that time and we may go down deeper and deeper to pull it out. To say: now, why are you being jealous? When is this? Who is this? And we can dig deeper and we can take it out and we can show it. Doctors are very, especially in this country where they sue everyone, they are very careful about giving advice isn’t it? If somebody uses this technology and say, ‘I have a headache on the left side of my head, what should I do?’ if the doctor says, ‘well, you can do this, this and this..’ if something goes wrong, he can be sued. He’ll be in big trouble. What is necessary for that one is to come and to see the doctor face to face. And then maybe to sign some papers to say, ‘I give up my rights.’
Similar in this way also. Because we can speak: why is jealousy necessary, what is it doing to you, it burns you, it burns your good deeds, the one who has an ounce of jealousy, he cannot even enter into Paradise, you cannot even smell the perfume of Paradise, we may speak but we are not pulling out something that is from inside of you. Because that is speaking in general. But everyone’s sickness, it is also specific. You have a cold. It is general, you have a cold. But that one who is a very good doctor, he’s not only just going to give you a medicine. Some doctors, they spend hours speaking to them. They get to know about your life. And they say, ‘okay,’ not just to give you a medicine, but to say, ‘you are getting this because of these things that you are doing. So stop from that.’ Similar, our situation, insyaAllah ar-Rahman.
Be busy, sit down, especially in this month. First, ask for tawba. Say, ‘astarghfirullah,’ sincerely. You don’t need to listen to no one. No one needs to tell you anything. Sit down and say, ‘Ya Rabbi, I am a weak one. I have this jealousy. I cannot control it. Send help to me Ya Rabbi. Allah will send help to you. Sit and think. This jealousy is happening because of what? Who is doing this? Am I doing this? Sit and count the blessings of your Lord. And sit and count how many times we have betrayed that trust to our Lord. If you are busy with that, you are not going to be so busy with the jealousy. Because this is one of the characteristics of sheytan. May Allah make it easy for us. InsyaAllah. Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
4 Shaban 1436H
May 22, 2015