Question: I have really bad anger issues that build up inside me and make me want to hurt myself sometimes. How do I get over anger?
You want to hurt yourself because you are so upset? Why you want to hurt yourself? Your sheytan is making you to hurt yourself. That means you are enjoying it. Come to Dergah, we can speak more. I can show you more. Anger is a characteristic coming from sheytan. You want to make sheytan happy? Go ahead. Because the anger is you are burning others and you are burning yourself. Never forget that. It’s not just others. It is yourself. Then definitely after you get so upset and you want to hurt others definitely the logical extension of that is you want to hurt yourself.
Anger, are you understanding what that anger is? First, understand. Yes, don’t say that you are angry, yes the anger sometimes when you don’t understand and you don’t know where to go with it, the Holy Prophet (asws) is ordering to us, when we get upset, go make a fresh wudu, with cold water. If you are still upset, he is saying, if you are standing up, sit down. If you are sitting down, lie down. If it still doesn’t leave you, take the wudu with cold water and pray two raka’at. Yes. It is to make the heart and the mind now to calm down a little bit, to pull yourself back and then start to think why are you angry? What is the reason for it? What do you gain by it? What is the thing that is making you to be upset in the first place? Is this just a habit? It’s something that you are so use to? or is it just something that is really necessary?
Allah swt has majestic anger. The friends of Allah they may have that jalal, mood, where they see Haqq and they see Batil and they get upset with Batil. Permission is given. And it’s not something that overtakes. Because with Holy ones, it is the mercy that overtakes their anger. Just like Allah swt is saying, ‘My mercy overtakes My wrath.’ It doesn’t overtake, it encompasses. It covers. Are you in the station where you say, ‘my mercy covers my anger,’? No. Then you have no right to be angry. You may not like something, take it as a lesson to you. Your mercy is not covering your anger, you have no right to show it. Something is wrong there, fix it. Don’t get angry.
A man came to the Prophet (asws) and said, ‘teach me what is Islam.’ Prophet looked at him and says, ‘don’t get angry.’ Three times he says, ‘don’t get angry. Don’t get angry.’ Because once you get angry and that fire comes to your heart, the faith leaves. That time sheytan can take over, tyranny takes over, then according to what you have with you, according to the power that you have, you are going to destroy. Don’t look down on those ones who are leaders and they committed so many wrong things in the world, murdering thousands, don’t look down on them. Say that if you were in their position, you are going to become even worse than they are.
So many you see they are so upset, something overtakes them, if they have a gun in their hand they are going to kill you. There is no control now. Understand that first, the anger. If you understand that then you are in the process of controlling it and using it properly. Otherwise if you don’t understand, it’s just going to overtake you, it’s coming from sheytan and sheytan’s aim is to destroy us. Wa Min Allahu Taufiq, Al-Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
17 Shaban 1436H
June 4, 2015