Question: What are the steps of overcoming the love for people around you and eventually submit to the Awliya Allah, friends of Allah?
Don’t overcome that love. You have the love for the people around you, don’t try to deny it and push them and to say, ‘now I’m going to love the Awliya Allah, I’m going to love the Prophet, I’m going to love Allah.’ The love cannot just enter like that, and love cannot just be pushed away like that.
Think and ask yourself, ‘why do I love such and such a person? What is the reason?’ and be sincere. Be honest. Then ask yourself, ‘why I want to love the Awliya Allah? Why I want to love the Prophet? Why I want to love Allah? Really ask yourself that question. Then when you find the answers that are real, that are honest to yourself, because some people, they cannot answer that. We ask them why you are going to love the Awliya? ‘Because they are Awliya.’ Why? Because what? And, what does it cost to love the Awliya Allah?
You know if you love somebody, you lose your identity, correct? Just regular dunya love, you lose your identity, you become part of that, isn’t it? If you love your car, you become part of that. You cannot imagine the car separating from you and you separating from the car. Do you understand why you love a person? If you say, ‘I love because he makes me feel good.’ Then that is still a very low level kind of love. And majority, they love because of that. They love because it makes them feel good. It’s a feeling. But once that feeling is tested, once it becomes heavy, then you’ll run away. And you go for another one. Because now love is just honeymoon. It’s just romance. Romance and love is completely different, especially according to Islam.
If you say, ‘this one is helping me to become a better person to myself, to others and to my Lord,’ then we say okay, then there is something there because you are mentioning your Lord. Because the love it is not something that you pluck from the air or you read from the book that it comes from the ground. The love is a creation. The love is a creation of Allah. Allah swt created the love. Allah is not love. God is not love. Christians are teaching that. Allah is the Creator of love. He is above that. So now, you love someone and you say, ‘I love him. I love her. Because this one is making me to become a better one to myself, to others and to my Lord,’ then we say there is something there. So you are recognizing Allah. Because so many times when people they love, they don’t recognize anything. You recognize the Creator of love.
Now the one who is responsible and the one who is intelligent is going to say: ‘the love that I’m having for this one, or to a child, or to my father or to my mother, or to my sister, or to my husband, to my wife, this love, is it the way that I am going to define what this love is? the way that I think what this love is?’ You can only do that if you are the one who creates love. No you didn’t create the love. Allah is the one who creates the love. So the intelligent one is going to say, ‘how does Allah want me to love according to Him, according to the Holy Prophet (asws)?’ Then only when you love according to Allah and Holy Prophet (asws) that your love to creatures it will get balanced. Otherwise, the one that you love, it will become an idol. It will become, the object that you love will become your idol. It will become another Ilah that you start worshiping and that one is only a creature of Allah. It is not Allah. That one, one day, is going to hurt you, one way or another. One day, It’s going to disappoint you, one way or another. Definitely one day it’s going to leave you.
So if you understand then the love that Allah swt wants and how to balance it, that time, your approach to the ones that you love is going to get balanced, then that love will slowly, because you understand now that love is coming through a protocol, it’s coming from Allah swt to His beloved Sayidinna Muhammad (asws), Habibullah. And from the beloved one and it goes to those ones who are representing him to put it in your heart. So now when you start understanding the protocol, and you are going to say, ‘okay. So this one is actually the one who is giving me love. He’s giving it to me because he loves me,’ as that Saint said to Allah swt, ‘Ya Rabbi, You are Allah, You are our Creator. It is not a wonder that we love You. But it is a wonder to me why You love us.’ To understand that Allah swt love us. Once you start understanding the kind of love that the Awliya, the kind of love that the Prophet, loving the Awliya will lead you to the love of the Prophet (asws) in a much more pure, in a much more sincere way. Only then, only then that you will be able to love Allah swt properly. Otherwise, it’s going to be very corrupt. It’s going to get mixed up. You think you are loving but it’s just emotional response. You think you love Allah, because Allah is giving you what you want. When what you want doesn’t appear to you, you start to hate Him and you say, ‘what kind of Allah is this?’
So, understand what is that love. That time you can make the connection properly, insya’Allah. You cannot rush these things. Understand why you want to love Awliya Allah. Why you want to love Awliya Allah? Leave what others tell you. Leave because this one says this, that one says this. Why do you want to love the Awliya Allah? What are you getting out of it? Because if you don’t answer this question, one day this question will come to you and you don’t have the answers and you are going to be completely lost, you are going to have a crisis. You will have a crisis. You will lose your faith because you’ll say, ‘this question so strong now they are coming to me and I’ve neglected all these years to answer it properly, and now it’s coming, I don’t have the answers, I cannot go anywhere, I drop it.’
Tafakkur, the one who does tafakkur, it’s impossible that he’s not going to understand and he’s not going to get drawn to sohbet. Insya’Allah ar-Rahman, may our love for our Sheykh be sincere. Because the love to the friends of Allah, the love to Allah and His Prophet, it comes with so many test. One man came to the Prophet (asws) and said, ‘Ya Rasulullah, I love you.’ The Prophet said to him, ‘prepare yourself for hardship.’ Every Sahaba e-Kiram love the Prophet (asws) and every single one of them they went through severe hardship and test. Awliya Allah, they are the inheritors of the Prophet. Their lives are filled with hardship. Because Allah test them. So, it is something really heavy.
I’m asking that I can be a servant to them and they can be in my heart and we can be sincerely serving them. That’s enough. Because more than that, if we ask, we will not be able to carry it. Sincerely I’m saying this. Love is not just something when everything is nice you are happy, when something is not good we don’t like, we don’t understand, then we start to turn against it. That’s not what it is. May Allah forgive us. Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
9 Ramazan 1436H
June 26, 2015