Question: How do I quit lying? What can I do with all the lies that I piled up, making me two-faced?
How do you quit lying? Go cold turkey. How do you quit smoking? Go cold turkey, right? No amount of talking, just don’t do it. You know that brand, they say, ‘Just do it’? We say, just don’t do it. Because you already know that it’s piled up. What else do you want? You know it is wrong.
Ok, but, I’m joking but I’m not joking. If you are smoking and you want to quit smoking, you go cold turkey, you quit, but you are living with someone who is a smoker, and your spouse smokes, your friends smoke, you love smokers, how much of a change you think you are going to have on yourself? Not much, unless you pull yourself out from that environment and you start to hang out with people who don’t smoke. And hang out with people who don’t smoke and with that time and the resources they spend on smoking that they do on other things and you start to say, ‘oh, there is a replacement,’ because they say, ‘Nature hates a vacuum,’ right? You take something bad, replace it with something good.
So, you say you lie a lot. Well lying it is a very bad thing. Because they asked the Holy Prophet (asws), ‘Ya Rasulullah, can a believer be weak?’ He says ‘yes.’ ‘Can the believer,’ I’m paraphrasing it, ‘can the believer commit adultery?’ He says, ‘possible.’ They asked him a series, ‘can a believer do this, can a believer do this…’ He says, ‘yes.’ Then they asked him, ‘can a believer lie?’ He says, ‘Impossible. A believer cannot lie.’ So, now, decide what you want to be. You want to be a liar, welcome to you. If you want to be a believer, then, there are certain things that you have to do, there are certain things that you have to quit doing. You have to surround yourself with people who tell the truth. You have to surround yourself with people who are honest, who are sincere, people who are not slick, who don’t hide. And sometimes you have to surround yourself with a guide, a teacher, someone who is going to call out on you, a counselor, so many words we may use, because people don’t like the word Master, or Sheykh. That’s showing to that your understanding is very shallow. So we just change a little bit here, words here and there, you like it, we use it, it’s the same thing.
So, one time a man came to our Sheykh saying, ‘Ya Sheykh, I want to quit smoking.’ Sheykh looked at him, says, ‘how much you smoke every day?’ He says, ‘I smoke one packet.’ He says, ‘good. From now on, you have to smoke two packets.’ He says, ‘What?’ ‘Yes, smoke two packets. Once you can do two packets a day, you let me know, I’m going to increase it to three packets.’ He’s saying. Now the man understood, because, so many times, when we do something, we are not understanding how bad it is until you go through, what? Rock-bottom, until you understand that it burns. Now, you don’t have to do that. The man did not do that because he understood.
Now, you are lying, lie more, see where that is going to lead you. Go through one full day, don’t tell one single truth, just lie. If someone says, ‘Good morning,’ you’re going to say, ‘Good afternoon.’ If someone asks you, ‘what is your name?’ you’re going to say, ‘Douglas.’ Lie everything, and see how that fits to you. If you like it, stick with it. If you don’t like it, change it.
If you become a believer, Allah will love you. The Prophet will be happy with you. And those who are happy with the Prophet and Allah swt they’re going to be happy with you. Surround yourself with people who tell the truth. Slowly you will start to understand. This is what the Nafs, the ego, does all the time. The ego constantly lies. The ego is very slick. It never tells the truth. If it’s backed up into a corner, it’s going to slink here and there. It’s never direct, it’s never straight. Now, if you want to understand how to get rid of this habit, understand your ego, and the tricks and the traps of your ego, that time, you’ll be able to control it, Insha’Allah ar-Rahman.
This much is enough, Insha’Allah, and if you have any more questions, we will answer later. The kurban is coming, Insha’Allah, we prepare ourselves, spiritually, make the intention that you are going to go to the Hajj. Don’t say, ‘oh, it’s impossible for me to go,’ it’s possible. You are going to be rewarded according to your intention. So, we make the intention that we are going to the Hajj, and make preparations for that. Prepare yourself. Now, preparation doesn’t mean getting your visa, your immigration… No. Preparing means, ‘from now, I’m going to clean myself up a little bit more. I’m going to be a little bit harder on myself. I’m going to do a little bit more zikr, a little more recitation. I’m going to watch my ego a little bit more.’ That time you are preparing yourselves, a rehearsal for the Hajj, and what is Hajj but a rehearsal for Judgement Day.
Everything else from this world that we are experiencing, we will forget. But that Judgement Day, it is in front of us, and is the most important thing. Wa min Allahu taufiq, Al-Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
19 Zul-Qadah, 1436H
September 3, 2015