Question: If I lost my spirit of being in the way, what can I do to regain it? How is it possible to be alive in the spiritual path?
BismillahirRahmanirRahim. You must consult. You must consult with your Sheykh. You must open your heart. You must ask. You must follow. You finish your battery, you have to go to someone who has energy. This is the trick of the ego and sheytan, some doubt enters into your heart or you lost your energy and like American style: “I need a timeout. I need timeout to just you know from all influence and to think and to decide for myself”. That is ego. It’s like a person, he’s sick, he’s going to see this doctor, he’s trying this medicine he is doing this, living healthy, but he finds himself, he’s not getting too well, he says, “okay okay okay, you know what, timeout. No medicine, no doctor, no healthy food, no healthy lifestyle, just for me to have a timeout, so that I get a clear head”.
That timeout from Tariqat, it is away from Saliheen, positive influence, and actually you are just making a khalwat, a seclusion with your ego and your shaitan, that’s all. That’s what the timeout means. Your ego is saying, “No no no no! Now you have to be with me! All this time in the sohbets over there, what do you gain? Nothing. They’re only very mean people. Now you have to be with me, I am going to treat you very nice. I am your friend. Don’t you know? We can do so many nice things together. Don’t you remember? Remember, when we used to have life. Remember, when people used to like you and you like people. Now you just hate everything. It’s not normal. Remember, you used to look at everyone with such light in your eyes, and now you are looking at everyone like they are sheytan. What is this? This is wrong. You used to be so simple. You used to find joy in everything. Just sitting down and having coffee in a Starbucks, such life it gives you. Now everything is wrong. You cannot even enjoy anything.Come with me. Take a timeout from them. Now is our private time together. Be in seclusion with me,’ nafs and shaitan is saying.
And it is a very open characteristic: first, one person has a problem in Tariqat, first thing they do, they always look down. Zikr, Sohbet, they always look down, very humble. But it’s not humbleness. It’s cutting yourself off from everything. Then later, you stop yourself from speaking to people. Later, you become more private. Later, you have your own private thing. Later, you stop being in jamaat. Allah’s order, be in Jamaat, you stop being in jamaat. You are just that tourist, coming in, out, in, out. Then sheytan says, ‘come come, come come, very nice, you are enjoying right, with me?’ ‘Yeah I am enjoying with you. I forgot what this feels like. It’s better!’
Because, you know, once you start consulting no matter how big your problem is, no matter how complicated your problem is, no matter how huge, once you sit down and start consulting with your Sheykh, all these problems will become pretty small. So many times, the problems, once you start speaking it, it sounds so stupid. So many times you come in, you have such a big problem, you go in the presence of our Sheykh, you forgot all your problems. It’s like, ‘you know what, it doesn’t matter.’ If it’s a real problem, it will always matter. But it doesn’t matter. Now if you have a real problem, that you are really looking for an answer, you will, you know you will find an answer through your Sheykh. But so many times, sheytan is saying,”Don’t look for an answer. Because if you find an answer, you are going to go deeper into the way of Haqq. So don’t look, don’t consult don’t say anything, just say to yourself, ‘Sheykh knows. He knows, why I have to go to him? He knows.'”
In reality you’re saying, he has to come to me. You don’t want to open, because when you open, all this imagination, yes, all this that is in your head, all these monsters, it’s just going to become very small. Sometimes like our Sheykh, who is sitting there looking at you, just smiling and you already get your answer. He says, ‘yeah I know. Eh, go.’ But you have to break that wall.
(Question from a murid: the things like what you’ve just said that, the things you know in your head that it’s not real, and you don’t want to bring it to the Sheykh to consult as it’s going to be so small, is it better to just ignore when it’s still happening in your head , still bothering you?). No, don’t ignore it. You try, if it is coming back to bite you, then get help. Don’t be a macho, don’t be a martyr. If you are being a macho, if you are being a martyr, question yourself, ‘why am I doing this? Why am I being a martyr?’ ‘Oh! It’s because I am stubborn. Oh! It’s because I am proud.’ You will come to very simple conclusions about the answers to your actions or your intentions very simple, it’s not complicated. ‘Because I am jealous that’s why. The bottom line is, I am jealous. That one has something I don’t.’
So there is something there. You cannot find any other answer, and your intention is to find an answer, to come out from this. You are sick and tired of feeling this way. Good, that’s the time, go and speak. Put your heart there, empty everything. The Sheykh may say something. The Sheykh may say a lot of things. The Sheykh may say nothing. But the Sheykh never does nothing. And the answer will always come. That is, if you go to the Sheykh without your ego. If you go to the Sheykh with all these problems, believing in the Sheykh, but with the ego of being stubborn and being arrogant, never it’s going to work, even if you pour everything out. It’s not going to work. You are still being stubborn, you are still being heedless. You are saying, ‘it’s like this, it’s like this. But! it’s like this…’ Then forty Prophets coming down, they will not be able to change a single word that you have in your head. So it is recommended. There are some who say, ‘no no no, the Sheykh knows, I am not going to speak nothing.’ What is this? You are testing the Sheykh? Then why don’t you do that to Allah swt, and why Allah swt is saying , ‘Ask from Me, even if the laces of your shoes they are broken, ask from Me.’ Allah is saying. Then why do we make dua? Why don’t we just say, ‘Allah knows, why I have to make a dua, is He not seeing my state?’
That is complete sheytan, because sheytan said exactly the same. Sheytan is saying, ‘Allah knows. Allah knows everything. Allah knows why I disobeyed Him. In fact Allah knows that I was going to disobey Him before I disobeyed. So in reality I am not being disobedient to Allah. I am just following His will.’
But the believer, like Adam (as) Safiullah, he has what? Haya, modesty. He is going to put modesty and manners in front of anything else. When they told him, sheytan said this ‘You can also say that whatever you did Allah knows, that Allah is allowing it to happen.’ Adam (as) says, ‘I have shame infront of my Lord.’ And that is one of the characteristics of the believer. A Believer has shame. No wahabi has shame. Tell me if they have shame? How can you have shame in front of your Lord and others and go out and to destroy people, to say that their blood is halal. Because that shame is going to say, ‘before others look to yourself.’
‘This person is wrong, he is doing this.’ Look to yourself. Did you ever do that? ‘Yes.’ Then you are guilty like that person. Did you finish his problem? ‘No.’ Then what gives you the right to tell the person what is. So, these things are important to understand a little bit and to change. Understand? May Allah forgive me. Fatiha. Amin.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
21 Rabi al-Awwal 1437
December 31, 2016.