Question: When I took bayat the first days I felt so clean, my heart was burning. It felt as if all the badness was being burned away. I wish I could have this sweetness everyday. What should I do to earn this sweetness back into my life? When I have hardship I get very depressed, is there any way I can avoid this depression?
BismillahirRahmanirRahim. When you first take the bayat and you felt clean, that is correct. That cleanliness, it is not you too. Don’t think that, ‘because I took bayat, I pray little bit and make myself to become clean.’ You feel clean because the Sheykh is taking away all your burdens. Because the Sheykh is now between you and Allah, and asking Allah to forgive you and to make you to become new. It’s not because of you.
The sweetness that you feel it is a high, isn’t it? That you feel, like when you first fall in love, when you first get something you really like, when you first get a car, get a house. You feel nice. You feel sweet. After that, that passes. That will never change, that will never change. That the initial honeymoon period is going to pass. That will never change. You must remember it. But the passing of that honeymoon period, it is a protocol in life. Which is why so many people when it comes to marriage, they don’t want to commit, because they always want to feel that high. Because commitment means now there are responsibilities, there is hardship, there is work for you to do. You cannot just have a feeling. Now, for that feeling now to be real, you have to take that feeling and that feeling has to become something, a service, something real. That feeling is not enough, and that feeling, after you pass through certain stages you even say that feeling was fake. Because, that feeling was just a feeling. Does he have anything to prove? Is there any proof?
You enter into Tariqat or you fall in love, you say, ‘I love you so much.’ What is the proof? Everything has to have a proof. Even Prophethood they have to have a proof of Prophethood. It is a feeling. So you have all this what? all this potential. Now this potential, it must give birth to something. You cannot just keep it, because this will also pass. Sometimes it passes, sometimes it is passed away from you, it is taken away from you to see whether you are sincere or not in your commitment. We were once, in front of Allah swt, taking the promise from Him when He said, ‘Alastu bi Rabbikum, Am I not your Lord?’ And we say, ‘Qalu Bala.’ We promised in front of our Lord. Don’t think that when we say ‘Qalu Bala‘ or we say ‘Bala,’ we are just saying it like that, we are in the presence of Allah swt. That Allah swt made us to forget that day. Allah swt is making us to test our promise to Him. He didn’t leave us alone, never He left us alone. To test our promise to Him. Our promise is there inside of us, if we only remember, if we only reflect, if we only think, these all Ayats of the Quran. And Allah swt sent 124,000 Prophets to make us to remember, 104 Books to make us to remember. Allah swt sent countless of His Friends, of Saliheen to make us to remember. And our Sheykh is saying, ‘Even if Allah did not send any Book or any Prophet, just by our intelligence alone we will find our way back to Allah swt,’ which in today’s mankind, intelligence is the last that they use. They use first, desire and ego. Later, they use the intelligence. They use intelligence only if it fits to their ego.
So for those who are saying, ‘I wish to have this kind of high every day,’ then you are still stuck there, in that kind of adolescent relationship to the Tariqat, a very young understanding of that. Because if all of that is taken, what are you going to do? You don’t feel the sweetness, that means that it is not sweet? You don’t feel the sweetness, therefore it is not Haqq? You don’t feel the sweetness, so you cannot do anything? The sweetness must become something else. It is not just a feeling, now it is a satisfaction. It is not just a feeling, it is a satisfaction. And the satisfaction comes when you experience the knowledge, not when you say and you repeat this. When you experience the knowledge, when you say ‘Allah,’ when you remember Allah, when you follow those who are teaching you to remember Allah, then the satisfaction enters into your heart. After you pass through certain stages then you feel that, ‘I don’t want to go back to those days too. Because in those days my understanding is very shallow, is very young, is very juvenile. I just want to have more of that feeling like a drug. Give me. I wasn’t producing anything. I wasn’t helping anything. I wasn’t making any service. I was just a feeling.’ Yes, that’s why people get into a depression. Go out there and work in the barn. You are depressed, come here, we send you to the barn right away. You are depressed, we send you to the mountains right away. You are depressed, we send you to wash the dishes every night. See if you going to depress or not.
Yeah, this is our way, this is the way of SahibulSaif. Alhamdulillah for that. SelamAleykum waRahmathullah.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
5 Rabi al-Ahir 1437
January 15, 2016.