Question: How does a murid rid himself of anger towards his mother? His mother deprived him of contact with family and emotionally abused him. He now finds himself alone and isolated in his middle age. He dislike his mother for what she did.
BismillahirRahmanirRahim. Leave that to Allah. Don’t be busy with that emotion. Put that aside. You have feelings, negative feelings, we are not saying destroy it, we are saying put it aside. Don’t be concentrating on that. Don’t be focusing on that. Don’t be busy with that. Be busy with something else. Be busy with something else that is going to bring you satisfaction with your Lord and satisfaction with those that are around you.
People, doesn’t matter who it is, they do things to us that makes us into what we are. So many things, it can destroy us. But if we are still standing up and still have the faith, with the intelligence and with that faith you can turn the negative situation into something that is going to be beneficial to you and to others. Look to the Prophet (asws). Was he not abused? By his relatives? By his own people? By his own uncles that he loves? And they loved him at one time. Look at the Sahab e-Ikiram, were they not abused? And were they not tortured? They were. But did they concentrate and focus, and were they busy on that anger that they have? No. They put it aside. They did something else. They concentrated on the love of Allah. They concentrated on the love of the Prophet (asws). They concentrated on the love of those whom Allah loves.
When you do that, all that anger is going to be coming down and become more manageable. You can control it. Otherwise that anger is always there and your ego is going to use that, shaitan is going to use that every time to bring it up so that you become paralysed by it. Don’t be paralysed by it. There are other things in this life other than those experiences that you have. There are other experiences and there will be other experiences that’s coming. Look forward to those ones. What are these things? Look forward like I said, in pleasing Allah and pleasing whom Allah loves, and pleasing those who loves Allah. Once you start doing that, All this old sicknesses that you have in your spirit, slowly it will go away. Slowly it will be manageable. Otherwise you spend your whole life running here and there to do things just to distract yourself, just to cover it, and you get more and more sick, because you don’t know how to handle this disease. May be easy InshaAllah. WaMinAllahu Taufiq. Al Fateha. Amin.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
26 Rabiul Akhir 1437
February 5, 2016.