When should we speak and when should we keep silent?

BismillahirRahmanirRahim

Question:  “Speak if it’ll give benefit to you and others or else keep silent.” How do we apply this hadiths to our life? When should we speak and when should we keep silent?

Auzubillahi minashaitanirRajim BismillahirRahmanirRahim. Let us all renew our Syahadat, renew our religion. Start clean. InsyaAllah ar-Rahman. Ashadu an-la ilaha il Allah, ve Ashadu anna Muhammadan Abduh ve Rasuluhu. Salallahu Ta’ala Alayhi ve ala Alihi ve Sahbihi ve Sallim. Now we begin properly. Now we begin properly with the strong foundation. And our intention now is to speak and to listen according to that syahadat. Not according to our ego. According to that syahadat.

So you ask me that question. If somebody is asking me that question, I’m saying it’s a good question because everytime I say, I’m thinking that question and I’m thinking who is going to ask that question, because I’m asking. Now if I ask you what that question is, you cannot then answer. If you cannot give an answer, that means it is a question that you need to know. Why are you not asking? Or you are thinking you know already?

You are saying that Sheykh Effendi always say and I repeat it, this is the hadiths of the Prophet (asws), when he says, ‘Either say something that is going to benefit you and others or else keep silent.’ And you are asking me a simple question: So when do we speak and when do we keep silent? How do we apply that hadiths now into our lives?  The answer is very simple. But to put it in your life, if you take the answer and everytime you come to that question, you put the answer, you will find it easy. If you know the answer and you are not going to put it in your life, then it’s just going to be interesting talk that you just listen to over your head. Understand? We must be a believer. We must be a believer. We must try to become a believer, someone who is sincere. And what is the characteristics, one of the characteristics of being a believer? Don’t try to think so much, do you know the answer according to Allah and His Prophet or not? You don’t know, so don’t theorize. Don’t make up a theory. I don’t care what kind of scholar you are. These days, majority of the scholars they are taking the nations bounding to Jahannam. Majority of scholars now they want to open up a new ijtihad, a new way, taking Islam to become a kafir Islam. We leave that aside. So don’t theorize.

What did Holy Prophet (asws) say? He is saying, ‘one of the sign of a beliver is that, when he is there people love him. They value his presence. And when he is not there, they miss him.’ So what does that mean? That means now your presence it is giving benefit to others. It is helping others one way or another. Whether you are doing something, or you are speaking, or you are praying or you are making an activity or you are doing something with your hands, or you are writing something, anything that you are doing is giving benefit. People don’t hate you. And they love you not because it is their ego or it is your ego that you want to love, it is because there is the light there that is coming from the faith, because you take people’s burden’s away and you are showing them what has benefited you from the light of the Prophet (asws). These days, in the name of beliefs, in the name of believers, when you are there, these days so called believers when they are there, they put nothing but fitna, confusion, heedlessness, hurt and pain. And when they are not there, people say, ‘alhamdulillah, that one is not there to cause us that pain.’ Do you understand?

So we are saying those words, ‘either say something that is going to give benefit to you and others or else keep silent.’ The meaning there is not just to say, but it is your whole actions, your whole life, what are you doing? You say I’m not hurting anyone but I’m just working for myself. You are being a selfish person? That means you don’t care. If you don’t care, definitely one day you are going to cause pain to others. Because why? You don’t care. Definitely one day you are going to become selfish, you are going to become arrogant, you are going to become stubborn, because you don’t care, you only care for yourself. The Muslim is a person who cares, because his neighbor is forty houses to the east, forty houses to the west, forty houses to the north, forty houses to the south. The Muslim is aware that wherever that he moves, he must show comfort and he must show the light of the Prophet (asws). He cannot show his ego. He cannot show his evil. Nowadays, it’s nothing but that. You are just showing your ego. You are just showing confusion wherever that you are. Not only you are not keeping quiet, but you are saying things that are harmful.

Look, this is for a person with time and understanding, with brains and intellect, look to see your life, to see what did I do today that is causing harm to others, what am I doing today that is not causing harm to others? You sit and you ask, that time you don’t need sohbet, you don’t need anyone to tell you anything. You know by yourself the harm that you have done and the good that you have done, and the harm that you are doing it is coming from your sheytan, from your nafs. The good that you are doing it is coming from Allah. So are you thinking? Men and women, are you thinking? Or you are just in denial? Or you are just becoming stubborn. Somebody tells you  you did something wrong, American style, they just stare back at you. They don’t say anything. Do you understand? It’s okay, there’s a special place in jahannam for people who are stubborn. You cannot be more stubborn then the ego. And the ego was put three days in the valley of hunger. So be stubborn, you will be put into the valley of hunger. Diffferent valleys of hunger. Then that time you are going to scream a lot. Because you are still being stubborn and arrogant. You are still denying.

The believer is the one when he sees something bad in front of him that is not coming from him, he sees something bad in front of him, he says, ‘this is a lesson for me. I have that quality, I have that badness, and may Allah protect me.’ And when someone tells him that you are doing, this, this, this, wrong, huh he immediately says, ‘yes, you must be true. Let me go and check.’ These days murids, if we tell you you are wrong, they say, ‘What? Me?’ Coming up with millions excuses. You are not answering the question too, you give an excuse. Did you? or you didn’t do it? ‘Well, one day I was….’ You are not answering the question. You are running away. There’s a very thick stubbornness, especially in America, that if you don’t break through that, so many things you are not going to understand. So many, because you don’t understand yourself. If you don’t understand that you yourself that you are stubborn, that time forty Prophets cannot convince you  that you are stubborn. So are you thinking, ‘today I did harm? How am I going to fix this? How am I going to fix this?’ do you stay up night time thinking about the wrongs that you have done and how to fix it? Or you stay up night time thinking about what kind of harm that you are going to do to others? Or staying up night time only thinking what kind of harm other people are doing to you. People may do something to you bad, but if you are busy with what kind of harm have I done to others, and running to fix that, that time all those things will become easy for you to handle too. It is very easy.

So look at your presence, I’m coming back to your question now. Look at your presence. Look at your presence in the community, in the society, is it useful or not? Is it useful or is it not useful? Or are you just there like tourist? Are you doing something that is useful or not? You must answer. If you say, ‘I don’t think I am,’ be sincere. If you think you are, say, ‘yes I am.’ What is your thing? ‘I’m cleaning the toilet.’ It is very useful. It is the most useful. What is your job? To throw away the garbage. You cannot now be fake modest and say, ‘no, I’m no good for nothing.’ This is another game that people play, Sufi people play. Eh, to not answer the question, to escape, they show the humble card. ‘I’m so humble. I cannot do anything. I am no one. I am nothing.’ No, you are something. You understand? A game again. So you are going to look, ‘am I doing something? Yes. Am I being useful? I’m trying to be useful.’ Then in the work that I’m doing and in my interaction with others, am I causing harm, am I watching myself? I’m watching myself. Am I causing harm? Today I don’t think so.’ Alhamdulillah. Good. Yesterday what happened? I got really upset with someone. They did something and I really don’t like it. Okay, what did you do? I didn’t do anything. So you are fighting against to your nafs, you became patience, you remained silent. Yes, good. Blessings is going to come to you. Goodness is going to come to you. The problem will fix itself. Somebody try to interfere and did this. And what did you do? I got very upset and I say certain things, and I did certain things that pass my limit. Now run to fix it.

Say something, do something, be someone that is either going to bring benefit to you or to others, or else be silent. Stay out of the way. Pull all the way back. And in this Dergah you don’t have a chance to pull all the way back. We are not here to pull all the way back just to sit for the ride. This is not the intention of this Dergah. Because we want to be in the frontline of Mahdi (as). Who are those ones who are going to be in the frontline of Mahdi (as)? Not because you have been promised by this one or that one that you are going to be a general, not because you think that you saw a dream or a vision that you are this and that then you are going to become next to Mahdi (as). Mahdi (as) frontline are those ones that every day they are fighting against to their ego. Only way you are going to fight against dajjal, is you fight against your nafs, you fight against sheytan, your desires and this dunya. If you are just sitting there and say, ‘because I’m the son of so and so…Because I’m Sheykh so and so…Because I have this vision so and so…that’s why I’m in the front,’ you are nothing but illusion and delusion. Dajjal is going to bring illusion and delusion to you.  But if you are here and you are busy just stepping on your ego and submitting, that time, you can fight easily.

You can have all the weapons but you don’t have the skills to use all the weapons, it is no good for nothing. You can be sitting in the presence of Sultanul Awliya, and he gives you the sohbets but you are not using the sohbets to your life, it means nothing. Don’t say, ‘oh, he is going to safe me that time.’ Which Sahaba e-Kiram is saying this? That they can just follow their ego and say, ‘Prophet is going to safe me.’ Which one? Those ones who are beloved to him, when the pass their limits, they are kept in check. Except for Hz Khadijah, it is well known that Hz Aisha is the most beloved one to the Prophet (asws), the most beloved wife, correct? But she was kept in check. Not by everyone, by the Khalifatullah, by the successor of the Prophet (asws), by Hz Ali (kw). He has that authority. And when you have that authority, you must use that authority to prevent fitna and confusion. You cannot look now, this one is like this, this one is like that, this is high, this is low. No. That time you have to look at the situation and you have to deal with that situation. You are not going to look at who is there, you understand?

So you can be there, you can be working (Sheykh say to a murid who is Dergah’s Chef) you are working other people coming and you are looking they are helping you, they say, ‘can I help?’ Yes you can help. You are seeing they are helping you, they are doing something. Good, helping you correct? So what do you do? You say, ‘he’s doing something good for me, let me give him a piece of cake.’ You see that one is helping, he is trying to do something, you may speak. You may joke around. You may talk about something that is completely unrelated to religion or spirituality, but the intention is what? He is helping me with something, correct? So now, you are doing something back that gives benefit. It’s okay. Because there is a firm intention. You know what you are doing. If you know what you are doing, according to your station, you know what you are doing, what the intentions are, you can use as many methods, tools as possible. Some people you say okay you can only use this and this, but some people they say you can use this and all of these you can use, it’s okay. You can praise, you can curse because you are clear about it. Everthing is just a tool, you understand?

Now, somebody just comes in, something maybe is the matter with him, he’s thinking, you are seeing him and he’s really worried about something and he just wants to come in and just ask for a cup of coffee, and something, and you are looking, and you are thinking, maybe I should give him something because something is bothering him. I want to help. That’s okay. Help, give, say something that will give him benefit. That will give you benefit. Then you see someone very lazy, not doing anything, just wants to come in and just hang out, you don’t have to do anything now.  He speaks to you, you don’t have to speak anything. You understand? Because he’s there wasting his time and wasting your time. And there’s nothing, no benefit that he’s giving to you, and there’s no benefit that you are going to give to that person. You are not now going to give him a lecture to say, you should do this and this and this. No, that is not your responsibility too. That is not your job. Your job is to cook, correct?  Then that time you can put your foot down, you can say, ‘I’m sorry. I’m working right now. No one is supposed to be in the kitchen.’ If necessary, you throw him out. You are doing any other thing, the main idea is what? If it is going to bring you benefit. You understand? It’s going to make you to understand something, to realize something, to help someone, to help yourself, that’s allowed, that’s okay. What is the most important thing here? You have to watch and you have to observe. You have to be observant. You cannot be in ghaflat. If you are observing everything around you, that time you can behave properly, you can react properly. If you are in ghaflat and you are not observing, you can do the worse thing, maybe you don’t have the intention, you can do the worse thing.

Everyday we are doing this. We are praying together, we are eating together, we are doing the whole thing, everything together, you should know each other very well. You should know each other to the point that when you are in the room, you are making a zikr, somebody enters, you must know who that person is. You must. Tell me how many of you know? The way that the door is opening, you already know who is entering. This is not Ilmu Laduni. Even the animals can know that, you think we cannot know it? Then which means, the person is entering, the way that he sits down, you look the way that he breathes, you know whether something is bothering him or not. You must be attuned to each other. How are you going to be attuned to each other? You must care for each other. But, so many of you, you don’t care for each other. You only care for yourself. Some don’t care. It should not be like that. You must know, then you must try to fix. That time, yes, you’ll be that one that the Prophet(asws) is saying, ‘that when he’s there, everyone is happy, when he’s not there everyone is missing him,’ because you are always trying to give benefit to others. You must see yourself as a person who always give to others, to help other people, to fix problem. Not to give problem.

WaminAllahu Taufiq, Al-Fatiha. And sometimes, the problems can be emotional, psychological. Sometimes it can just be practical problems. For some people, maybe they are not so good to take care of other people pscyologically or to talk, but they are good at fixing things. They are seeing, this door is always broken, he fixes it. There’s big benefit in that. They are seeing people are cold, he makes a fire, nobody else is moving, he does it. So that time he doesn’t have to care like that so much, ‘oh how are you? Are you okay to talk,’ no, he cares more than that. He is looking for what? For people’s comfort. You understand? So now, this is beyond now just talking or speaking or giving advice. This is real now. You are trying to to make everything comfortable for people. Then that time, definitely when you are there, you give benefit to others. And definitely when you are not there, people will miss you because they say, ‘oh, if he is here he would have fix that.’ If he is here, this problem will not be here. SelamAleykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

 Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
1 Jamada al-Ahir 1437
March 10 2016.