Question: I think too much about my past mistakes that it affects my daily actions, How can I improve on this?
BismillahirRahmanirRahim. It is good to remember your mistakes, it is better to do something about them. Idea is not just to remember your mistake and for you to be stuck. The purpose is to remember your mistake and then to run to fix it, we have to run to fix it. That time look to see what you can do because the one who runs to fix his mistake this is one of the characteristics of the Ehle Jannat. This is one of the characteristics, the descriptions that Allah swt is giving.
Allah swt is asking the Holy Prophet (asws) in the Miraj, what are the signs of the Ehle Jannat. The Holy Prophet (asws) did not give a description of the Ehle Jannat, the one who’s perfect, the one who’s pure, the one who is Holy, the one who has high maqams, the one who has visions, the one’s who is related to Holy people. He give the description of very humble, simple people that you and me we can take lesson from, people who make mistakes, people who do wrong things and they’re running to fix it, one of the description.
So if we want to be that Ehle Jannat and we should want to be that Ehle Jannat, we remember our mistake, don’t just sit down and beat yourself up over it. We are not from other traditions, you taking something and you hit yourself saying “oh its my fault, its my fault, oh I’m wrong.” Later sheytan come and whisper, it is forbidden in Islam by the way to do that, later sheytan comes and saying “this is very nice. You like pain huh?, you like the pain, oh”, then they start hitting themselves more and they start liking it more. Then they start hitting other people and telling people to hit them on and on and on it happens. This is forbidden in Islam. You do mistakes, we all do mistakes, are we understanding it? Are we running to try to fix it? It is more difficult to fix it, its very easy to just smack yourself. So now when we trying to do this we are not going to be just so weighed down by the guilt, weighed down by the heaviness because you’re coming out from that. You’re coming out from that being pinned down by this wrong action, you are escaping from this wrong action. You’re asking of course Tauba from Allah swt but you’re running to fix. You can’t fix it directly, you have to fix it indirectly. You cannot fix it in one way you have to find a way to fix it but you have to fix it.
Yes of course we ask for Tauba, we make Dua, we make Zikr, but run to do something. That way its going to be balanced for all. Of course when we are sitting in front of our Sheykh, everything comes in front of us. That is regular, that is normal, that is a sign that we are sitting in front of Holiness. That time if you are running to try to fix it, those things that you feel in front of your Sheykh, you feel that shame, it’s not going to lock you up too then. You’re going to learn because your ego will come from that direction too. To say, ‘oh you’re so dirty you cannot speak to him, don’t consult, don’t do anything, you are…’ That is also a trick from the ego that you must learn to have enough strength to put that aside and say, ‘be quiet now. Yes I am dirty, yes I am doing so many wrong things but I am here for help and I’m coming to his presence for help.’ Up til today I still have fear coming in front of our Sheykh and so many times he makes it easy, so many times for reasons, especially for certain people he doesn’t make it too, too easy and that’s ok because he’s a Sheykh, he’s not our buddy, he’s not our friend, he’s not a cute man, he’s not somebody that, oh we’re so in love with you.
If we are understanding the Holiness of the Holy ones with that light, where there is light, where there is Nur, Nar cannot enter, The Nar will be put out by that Nur and its something that is going to hurt us, it does. Insha’Alah in these Holy times were asking Allah to send us Mahdi (as) soon. Ameen. To make us to be in safety until he comes. Ameen. Not to be put in confusion, to hold on tightly, to be hard on ourselves. We are asking Allah for forgiveness for our weakness and to be busy with ourselves insha’Allah and for us not to fall in love with this dajjalic system and dajallic people and their lifestyle. Wa Min Allahu Tawfiq, Al Fatiha. Ameen. Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
6 Shaban 1437
May 13, 2016.