Question: How do I clean my heart? How to check your ego when it has gone out of control?
BismillairRahmanirRahim. First you understand that your heart is dirty. If your heart is sick, first thing that you have to do is you have to find a Doctor. When you find a Doctor you have to submit to that Doctor. He is going to guide you, how to clean your heart. Cleaning the heart, what is it that you have?
Arrogance, don’t think cleaning the heart because you have arrogance is just to take a Tasbih and to sit 24 hours and say astaghfirullah, and you are not going to be arrogant. I know people the more they are making zikr the more arrogant they become. The more they recite the Quran the more arrogant they become. I know someone who spent whole night in sujud, hours she was in sajda, she was in sujud, it was an open space, the kids run around, finally she couldn’t stand it any longer, she got up and started cursing at the little kid, “how dare you!” she started cursing “You are disturbing me in my worship.”
But people don’t have a sense of irony anymore. They don’t. Because you have irony when you start understanding that there is a face, there is a front and there is a back. And there is front to yourself and there is a back, there is a fake side and there is a real side. And in this way we are trained to look everything that we are doing is fake. To clean it up.
Polishing doesn’t mean cleaning, cleaning is something else, polishing is something else. When you clean you open this (Sheykh Lokman Effendi demonstrates with a glass) you take this out, you clean it, that’s clean, it looks clean but according to whose eyes and when? You know these glasses, so many of you don’t know how to clean too anyway. You just put it in that American machine, dishwasher, hmm? It’s not very healthy. I can tell you that much. You clean, you put it over there. Five minutes later when its dried and you look, you’re gong to see so many things there. It’s not clean. You leave it there for one day, more. Seven days, more. That’s cleaning but what is polishing? Polishing is when you look at every speck as if it is the dirtiest thing. That’s why everyone they should go to the military. Oh, later on, they are going to say that we are a military unit. What can we do? We went through the military, we have to say this. Two and a half years he went through, our Sheykh, he was a Ghazi. What do we do if we are not in drill? Up, left, right, left, right, for hours, what else do we do?
You’re polishing your boots until you can see your teeth, until when you smile you can see. You sit for hours and you polish, teaching, imprinting on us the importance of every single detail, watching everything. That is polishing. People are going to say, ‘why you are torturing yourselves? You’re praying five times a day. Subhanallah, you’re good brother, why you are making Zikr every night? No need!’
We are polishing. Why? because we are looking at our hearts and we’re seeing its not clean, we want to polish. Why do we want to polish? What do we want to be in our hearts? What it’s supposed to be? Because the heart it is the throne of Allah and Subhana Wa Ta’ ala is La Sharika La. So, you want to clean your heart now? Find someone, find a Sheykh. That time he may tell you. You’re saying, ‘what should I do? what dua should I have, ya Sheykh, what Zikr should I have?’ He says, ‘no need Zikr, go to the toilet and clean the toilet.’ What kind of tarikat is this? Very old, original, authentic kind, not this new kind of tarikat, get a Zikr online and sit down and you start thinking that you’re a Sheykh, that you’re a Saint, old kind, the kind that remembers Hz Aziz Mahmud Hudayi, the kind who remembers Hz. Maulana Rumi, the kind who remembers Hz.Yunus Emri.
So they’re going to attack you through a different angle, to take away that arrogance from your heart or they are going to say no need to do anything but live, stay here with this bunch of crazy people, but don’t fight. They are going to knock you wall to wall, rubbing against you, you don’t like it but it is going to work on you.
Don’t try to clean your heart by yourself. Don’t do heart surgery on yourself, it is very dangerous. Surgery, heart surgery should only be done by a heart surgeon, not even a brain surgeon. Definitely don’t go to a foot Doctor. At least these are all Doctors. Nowadays people go to quacks. Do that inshaAllah. Be in the association of your Sheykh, submit to your Sheykh. Sit down and understand and think. Tarikat is not blind faith. It is thinking. Once you’ve made that step, one step then Allah will take ten steps to you. But you cannot reach until you make that one step. Then that time He’ll give you other kinds of instructions. Sometimes it depends on how wild your ego is. For some people, a look it is enough. Some people they speak one word, the Sheykh speaks one word, they wake up they check themselves. Some people just a dream, a sign, they wake up. Some people you need to knock them wall to wall. Some people, you need to say wake up. Because the ego is the worst creature Allah swt has ever created. Worse than sheytan.
So its a good question. In these days inshaAllah Rahman before the Berat you should at least make that intention. We are very weak creatures, we are dirty ones, we are asking Allah to forgive us and to give us the strength and to make our intentions to be good, and not to be out of control. Wa Min Allahu Tawfiq Al Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz,
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
6 Shaban 1437
May 13, 2016.