We are here waiting and asking from our Sheykh to send us something that is going to benefit us. We are not here to just waste our time, we are not here as a routine, we are not coming here prepared with any agenda. We are here to learn, both you and me. Now, you have a question about family (Sheykh ask a murid). How, you are saying, ‘Allah is saying, ‘your heart only belongs to Me.’ you are asking me, now, ‘what about the family? And specifically, what about the family that their hearts are not with Allah? What do we do?’
We spoke a little bit, and I said this is a very controversial topic. That’s okay, people are not accepting us anyway, we can be as controversial as we want. It’s when you are accepted by the society especially if the authorities put a stamp on you, that’s the time when you cannot speak the truth, correct? We may speak. Who listens? Doesn’t matter, it’s not up to us. Our duty is for us to speak.
Because, the new idol, which is the most important thing they say, new idol for believers and unbelievers, Muslims and non-Muslims, they say, ‘the most important thing in this world is family.’ You know? Family. What happened to Allah? What happened to His Prophet (asws)? What happened to Haqq, what happened to Islam?
‘No, family is the most important!’
Family, you are just related by blood. Correct? And if you extend this worship for the family, then you’re going to say, ‘by blood, that means the most important thing is by tribe. The most important thing is by color. The most important thing is by nationalism.’ Then, what happened to Ummat? What happened to the whole Muslim nation? So, we’re back to the first Jahiliyyah, first age of ignorance. In the time of the Prophet (asws), most important thing is what? Is the tribe. Tribes consist of the family, correct? They say, ‘that is the most sacred thing. You can do anything you want but you cannot break that. If you break that, you are out of the tribe, no one is going to help you, you are not going to have any protector, nothing.’ And the Prophet (asws) came to destroy that. Tribalism. Because he is saying, with Allah’s words, aleyhi salatu wa Salam, he is saying, ‘only the believers they are brothers.’
Family is by blood. Quickly, other people are going to say, ‘oh, no, no, no, no, no. That’s talking about if the family is not, you know, Muslim. But if the whole family is Muslim, then the family is the most important thing.’ It is not. If the family is the most important thing, if family is the most important thing, family is so important, so holy, and I’m answering this question through the eyes of Tarikat and Tasawwuf, I’m not answering this question through psychology or through history or through sociality, no, this is through Tasawwuf, if family is so holy, some people are saying, ‘holy family,’ if family is so holy, then why are we witnessing, why have we witnessed that it is first the family of the Prophet (asws) that is being sacrificed in this way, the Ahlul Bayt? If family is so important, and so holy, Prophet (asws) is going to be the first one to protect his family from every harm and every inconvenience, from every hurt.
But we are seeing, and we are going to enter into the days of Ashura, the Ahlul Bayt are the first ones to come forward. The People of the House. First one to come forward to sacrifice. Maybe they know something we don’t know. Maybe the meaning of Ahlul Bayt is understanding that the whole world is one family. Maybe the meaning of Ahlul Bayt is to have that love, same one that Prophet (asws) had, not for his family, but for the whole ummat, Muslims and non-Muslims, that the Prophet (asws) repeatedly saying, ‘Ummati, Ummati,’ from the time that he was born, to the time that he passed, to the time that he is going to be raised, to the time that he is going to be in front of Allah swt, asking for intercession for his ummat.
We are following him, we should at least have that. We should at least understand that. Now you’re not going to put your family there. You’re going to say, so easy, everyone is saying, ‘oh, yeah, Akhi! Akhi! Brother, sister!’ That’s only words. That’s why we don’t really use it here. You know why? Because if you say, ‘brother,’ you say, ‘sister,’ I mean, I don’t want the brothers to address the sisters, they’re not doing that, sisters not addressing the brothers, but these days, I don’t know, outside you see very weird things. You see a man and woman, they are married to each other, and the husband calls the wife ‘sister’. And the wife calling the husband ‘brother’. Very unusual. So, we live in very unusual times. They are not addressing to each other, but when you address to each other, men to each other, ‘brother’, you’ve already now signed a contract. ‘This is my brother. My life is for him.’ Are we at that level? No. We’re not. Are we at the level whose example is in front of us? The Ansar and the Muhajirin. The Ansar, the people of Medina, and the Muhajirin, the people who made the Hijjrah, from Mecca, coming to Medina. Those were brothers. And they were sharing, and they were sharing everything. Everything they were sharing, you understand? Their house, their wealth, their possessions, their families, they were sharing. Some, they were even saying, ‘okay. You take her.’ Do you understand? They were helping.
So now, we split open the meaning of family. It is not by blood. Blood and flesh and bones is going to finish. This is not our identity. Our identity is our spirit. When are we going to wake up to understand this? And that spirit is not recognizing black or white or green or yellow. The spirit does not recognize the outward form. The spirit recognizes, ‘ah, not only you are my family but we were together. I feel very familiar with you. I don’t feel this kind of familiarity with my own blood family.’ Because, once upon a time, maybe for thousands of years, we were sitting with each other. On the Day of Promises, in the time before time. This is what the Prophets are being sent, because the Prophets, to their nation, is like a father to all the children. The children must be able to recognize each other.
Do we have rights over our families? Yes. Do our families have rights over us? Of course they do. You must always respect, you must always love, you must always help. What if they start attacking you on this way of Haqq? Don’t fight. Be patient. Who knows, Allah is going to turn their hearts one day. ‘What if they attack and they throw me out of the house?’ Well, in the first place, if you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be living with your parents anyway. If you are an adult, you should be contributing to help your parents. ‘What if they attack me and they’re cursing at me non-stop?’ Now, you’re not living with them, you’re living somewhere else, try to make peace with them. If they don’t want to make any peace, they continue to do that, draw a line, to say, ‘if you don’t pass these borders, we are okay. If you pass these borders, it’s not going to be okay, because I’m not attacking you. You are the one who’s attacking me.’ Maybe they’re not going to listen. Doesn’t matter. Allah is listening.
What happens if it’s your own children, your own wives, your own husbands that is not following the way of Haqq? Welcome to the Ahir Zaman. This is exactly what happened in the first Jahiliyyah. Families were split, tribes were split, and this is one of the things that the mushriks of the first Jahiliyyah they were so upset with the Holy Prophet (asws). They said, ‘because he is not playing by the rules of our culture.’ What is that? ‘Families are first. Tribe is first. Whatever you do, you don’t split, you don’t betray your tribe.’ And he came and he split everything. Father was fighting against son, son was fighting against father. Not with words. They were pulling their swords.
Don’t get too excited. We’re not saying you should pull the sword to your father, or father to the son. I’m saying that because people like to twist our words. It’s okay. You can twist as much as you want, because on the Judgment day, there is an ayat for that too, for those ones that they get twisted around their necks, you understand? And some, by their own tongue they are going to twist them. That that is the reality that is what happened. Why are they doing that? Are they doing that? Are they doing that because they like to marry this girl, their father doesn’t like? Are they doing that because the boy says, ‘I want to start this business,’ and the father doesn’t like? Is it anything to do with dunya? No. It has everything to do with the Holy Prophet (asws). Because they put him first. You don’t like that? Then you’re not in Islam!
You don’t like that? Be careful. Because the perfection of faith, Holy Prophet (asws) is saying, ‘if you don’t love me more than you love everyone else or everything else, your faith is not complete.’ They don’t like to mention this part. And loving the Prophet (asws) is not just to get emotional about Prophet. It’s not just to cry every time you hear him and to long to be with him. That is still very low level, just like a child wanting to be with the father. Crying, wanting to be with the father, correct? Father is here, the child is over there, ‘I love you! I want to be with you!’ crying, crying, crying, it’s still a child. If the child grows up, he sees his father over there, what is the grown up child, what is the man going to do? He’s going to come up to the father and say, ‘anything that you want me to do, I’m here to help you. I’m here to help you, I’m here to serve you. Whatever you devote your life to, I’m going to do.’ The same thing with this ummat of the Prophet (asws). They want to make Ashq e- Rasul just to be like that. Emotional and just crying. But not understanding what is making the Prophet to cry. Are you trying to stop the Prophet (asws) from crying? He is crying. Look at the state of this ummat. He is crying.
Prophet (asws) came, one man, to stand up for Haqq. Are we doing that? No, we’re not. Then what is this love? There is some love there, but it’s just very low-level selfish love. And our families, if it is not sacrificed in the way of Haqq, what kind of a family is that?
So quickly we are saying, ‘oh, yes, Prophets are our role models, Sahabis are our role models, the Awliya are our role models,’ but we say you must sacrifice a little bit, your thoughts, your ideas, your attitude, your responses. Sacrifice a little bit of that in the way of Haqq. They say, ‘what is this? Is this a cult or something? What is this? I have to sacrifice something?’ But look, we were just saying, Ashura is going to enter, Prophet (asws) sacrificed his whole family. The Sahabi e- Kerim, they sacrificed their whole family. Those who are following in their footsteps will continue to do the same.Then, that time, it does not mean, listen to this very carefully, it doesn’t mean you stop loving your family. It means, ‘whatever love I have to have for my family, now I have to extend it.’ To who? ‘To my brothers. Who are my brothers? The believers. What I want for my family, I must provide for my brothers too because they are my real family.’ Because Allah is saying, ‘only the believers they are brothers.’ That time, you may find a balance, you understand? Otherwise, it’s just every man for himself again.
Astaghfirullah hal azim wa atubu ilaih. As much as we can, this is what we’re trying to do. This is what we’re doing, we are not trying, we are doing this. With the support of our Sheykh only we’re doing this. We are not perfect, we are not rushing for perfection. We’re just rushing to clean ourselves, that’s all. To try to do it well, to try to do it good. We are running to have the pleasure of our Lord, to have the pleasure of our Prophet, to have the pleasure of our Sheykh. We are not doing anything else other than that, do you understand? That time, don’t worry, the love that you have for your family, it will grow and it will be balanced, because you are not worshiping something that doesn’t deserve to be worshiped. It’s going to be balanced. Otherwise, every little thing is going to break you, every little thing is going to unravel you, every little thing is going to give you some panic, you understand?
The family must rest on faith. If the family is not resting on faith, there is a big problem. Now, we are in the spiritual way, we are in Tarikat. You’re saying, what if my family doesn’t want to believe in it? I said, I’ve already told you the answer. Don’t push, don’t fight, don’t argue. Slowly they’ll come to understand. But, you, continue our way, because we want to return to our real family. We want to return to that group of believers who have always been there for us since the time before time. Wa min Allahu Taufiq, Al Fatiha. Amin. Selam Aleykum wa Rahmatullah.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
22 Zul Hijja 1437
September 22, 2016.