What rights or say do the parents have over their children who choose to follow Tarikat and to be in the guidance of their Sheykh?


Question: I have been raised by Muslim parents who have taught us good and to be on the straight path, what rights or say do the parents have over their children who choose to follow Tarikat and to be in the guidance of their Sheykh?


BismillahirRahmanirRahim. I’m asking permission from my Sheykh to speak. I’m not asking permission from my father or my mother. My father’s rights over me, no one can take, no one can fulfill. My mother’s rights on me, no one can do that. But they are my biological parents. The blood and the flesh coming from them. But we have a lineage that is beyond the flesh and the blood. We have a spirit and our spirit does not come from our father and  or mother, it comes from something else, someone else, somewhere else. Just as you have flesh and blood parents, you have spiritual parents too. Ultimately, the one that we are coming from is who? Now don’t say Allah, of course we come from Him and we are going to return to Him. Now is the month of maulid, we are going to speak a little bit because this is ahle sunnat foundation or aqidah. So where are we coming from? What is it that Allah swt created first?

It’s not our father or mother, it’s not our grandparents, it’s the light of  our Holy Prophet (asws). And what was created from his light? You and me? Let’s not talk about any other things, let’s talk about just insan, Hazreti insan. The light of the spirit of the other Prophets, they come from his light. And from the lights of the Prophets, all the ummat comes from them. So there is always a chain. Are you believing in this, ahle sunnat way of thinking or no? So many they don’t know. Your father knew, your grandfather knew. You are just cut off from that because they destroy this muslims into thinking Islam is just going up and down five times a day and Tarikat is just to sit and to make a zikr but not understanding what is our reality. So we are coming from that Prophet (asws), that’s why we are his ummat and Prophet (asws) is coming from Allah.

Why we are entering into Tarikat? To return to Allah. Not through Jahannam, not through hardship. To return to Allah in the best possible way, in the easiest way, in the quickest way, in a way that He loves and He has favored.  You are saying we are in Siratul Mustaqim. Whose Siratul Mustaqim? Maybe your own, maybe your race Siratul Mustaqim, maybe your  ethnicity Siratul Mustaqim, but Allah swt is not leaving that open. He is saying in Surahtul Fatiha: Sirat al-ladhina an’amta ‘alai-him. Ghair il-Maghdubi ‘alai-him wa la-d-dallin. Only in the way of the way of those whom He has favored. Who has He favor? The Prophets. Holy Prophet (asws) is above everything else. That he is saying, alaihi salatu wa salam, ‘if you don’t love me more than you love your father, your mother, everything that you own, more than you love yourself, you have not reach to complete faith.’ We enter to Tarikat to get complete faith. Yes we love our father and our mother, but we are here in Tarikat to learn how to love that Prophet (asws ) above everything else.

Your father is a Sheykh? Follow him, he is going to bring you to the prophet (asws). But your father is not a Sheykh. Find a Sheykh, love  your father, don’t leave him, definitely, but your father is not a Sheykh. He will not be able to lead you to that Prophet. You love your father, then why you go to school? Your father and your mother, they are your first teachers. Then why do you go to school? Shouldn’t you just stick to your father and mother to teach you everything? You know in matters of dunya, whatever your father and your mother can teach you, if you want to learn more that is beyond what they can teach, you have to find another teacher. You love that teacher, he’s teaching you everything perfectly but you want to learn more, you have to leave that teacher too. You have to find another teacher, and another teacher, and another teacher. Correct? So but today’s parents, they started worshiping their children and they are teaching their children to worship them, to say,, ‘your religion begins with me and it ends with me.’ It is not. There is a beginning and an end. There is a master of the beginning and the end and it’s not your father and your mother. That is Sayidinna  awalin wal ahirin. That is the Holy Prophet (asws). There may be certain things they don’t understand in Tarikat, of course, but it doesn’t mean what you don’t understand it is wrong.

What are we holding on to? We are holding on to the Holy Prophet (asws), and this learning, this knowledge that we are holding on to our Sheykh, he’s not learning it from books,  he’s not learning it himself. This is something he has sacrificed his whole life, his wealth, his children and everything that he owns to the way of Allah and his Sheykh has opened up everything for him. Now, you are looking for your reality, not praying, not making zikir, you are looking for your reality. You are looking for your secrets. Only Holy Prophet (asws) he has that key. But the protocol of Allah swt, just as He gave the key to the Prophet (asws), the Prophet (asws) will give the keys to his waris, his inheritors, the waris ul-anbiya, the inheritors, these are the Sheykhs, they have our keys. Not our father, not our mother, not our  grandfather, no. They have the keys. And those who are looking, you will find them and they Sheykh will look and say, ‘I will give you the key but  before I give you the key to open up what is beyond that, you have to prepare yourself, to carry what is going to be given to you.’

hoja and murid

So what happens now? When a Murid, he’s following a Sheykh, and the Sheykh is saying one thing, the parents is saying another, what does he do? You must fulfill the rights of your parents, whatever that is over them, over you, you must fulfill that responsibility. Definitely. But like I said, they are your parents, they are not your Sheykh. They are not the inheritor of the Prophet. Just as your parents tell you one thing, you go to school and your professor tells you another thing. I don’t hear anyone being confused. They are going to say, ‘I believe, I believe what my parents they are saying. That is according to their level. But the professor he knows something more and for me to be able to get my diploma, I have to follow the professor.’ You don’t have to. You can say, ‘no I’m just going to follow my parents.’ But your parents never are going to give you diploma.

What are they Sheykhs teaching us? The Sheykhs they are teaching that nothing else is in priority except for Allah and His Prophet. The Sheykhs, step by step is going to teach us what the Holy Prophet (asws) has said: if you don’t love me more than you love your father, your mother and everything that you own and even yourself, you have not achieve complete faith. So the Sheykh is going to teach you how to put the Holy Prophet (asws), his sunnat, his traditions that your parents may not understand because they don’t have that educational level, he’s going to teach you and he’s going to say for you to have complete faith, this is the way, this is the road. The Sheykh will never force you. He’s going to say and offer the way and he says, ‘if you like, go.’ If that is what you are looking for. Everyone is going to be responsible.

Who are those parents that they are going to stop their children from entering into Tarikat? Do you understand what is a Tarikat, the parents? No you don’t.  All you know is what people tell you that Tarikats are bad. And this is a very stupid thing because you are jumping and you are judging. You don’t understand. What is a Tarikat? What is a Sheykh? What are they teaching? So many who opposed, they never sit down and ask. They never sit down for five minutes sincerely to ask Sheykh Effendi, saying, ‘Sheykh Effendi, people are telling me Tarikat is like this, like this. You are like this, like this. I don’t agree like this, like this. Please explain to us.’ Never. That is enough sign to show that they are on the wrong way, that they are following was wasa  and ego and sheytan. They talk so much behind their back, which is forbidden by the way because you are speaking behind the back of Awliya Allah, oh. And we are saying, you really have question, sit and ask. It’s not that difficult. We may speak. No. Maybe the children they are looking for something that you cannot provide. Like I said before, you send your children to school because you cannot provide that education. You send your children for training elsewhere, this, that, whatever that you are giving your children in this life because you cannot give it. Your children they are looking for Allah. Where do the parents think that they are the inheritors of Prophet to explain Allah, where?

If you sit and you ask, we may speak, it’s pretty simple. But the sheytan is saying, ‘don’t speak and  ask because they may convince you. And maybe you are going to take beyat too, so don’t ask. Just stay behind them and just talk crap about them. That’s all.’ But more you are putting pressure on your kids to say no to them, Allah swt has already put that desire in them to find him. You are not going to be able to give him. That’s why, if you are able to, he would have just sat with you. But he’s looking elsewhere. And if you say, ‘go  my son. That one who is teaching you does he ask anything from you?’ and if you child says, no, then you must repeat the words of Allah. Then it is obligation for you to follow him in Surahtul Yasin, Allah swt is saying, ‘follow those who ask you no fee and who themselves they are rightly guided.’ You repeat the word of Allah properly, you are going to be bless, they are going to be bless.  It’s very simple. But so many parents  they don’t like it not because they don’t know it is Haqq. They don’t like it because they are losing control over their kids. They no longer have that power to say, ‘sit,’ and the kid sit, ‘stand,’ and they stand. You know what? If it’s not Tarikat who is going to take them away, it’s going to be their girlfriend or their boyfriend who is going to take that, to stop that power from you, to make you to lose them.  If it’s not that, someone that they find, meaning it’s going to be their work  or their job, or something will always be there. Because your kids they are growing up. They are not children anymore.

‘Oh, in my culture, the father is always a father.’ Well, that’s a problem with your culture. Of course he is your father. Your children they are always children, your father it is always a father, but your children grows up to be a father and if you treat your children when they are already a man, like they are six years old, you are being zalim to them and this is not sunnat. The more you are trying to stop them, more they are going to rebel against you. Believe me. Because it’s not us. We don’t’ do hypnotism, we don’t do black magic, we don’t do nothing. It is Allah that has made them to understand that Allah is looking for him. I’m not even going to say because they are looking for Allah. It is Allah who has put that desire for them to understand that Allah is looking for him. Allah is looking for us and we are just returning that call to say, ‘Labaikallah.’

‘Why can’t they just do that with me? Stay home and do it. They are not your kids.’ You know how to send them to school, you know how to send them to college, you know how to send them sometimes for years, away from you to get education. What about spiritual education? You think it is so cheap?  Masjids? Masjids don’t give spirituality anymore. Masjids they are there either to say official things, to say political things, to just social gathering or to collect money. They are not there to feed the spirit. This is one of the signs of the ahir Zaman. You let your children, now you say, ‘go my son. Fine.’ You will see how quickly when you give that permission to your children, they will increase in their love, in their obedience to you. Because they understand that you understand too what they are looking for. We don’t have any power to force anyone. I’m not forcing and the parents have no power to force their children too. Maybe you can force them a little bit. But one day they are going to rebel and it’s going to be a very big mess that you are going to do. Anyway, what is so bad about us? We are gathering people to come together to drink? To do drugs? To have boyfriend and girlfriend? Your kids, so many of them they are doing that behind your back. You just don’t know. Oh, maybe you know but you are pretending not to know. That’s another problem.

We are showing them the words of our Sheykh and the teachings of our Sheykhs, to be responsible, to remember Allah, to carry our responsibility and to hold on to the sunnat and to the laws of Allah strongly. This is what our Sheykh is doing. What is it that is in there that you oppose to? ‘oh, but my kids ever since he’s following you he’s become more outspoken, he become very rude and this…’ We are not teaching him that. He has always been outspoken. He has always been rude. You are just kidding yourself. Now he’s just more outspoken and rude according to religion. He’s not outspoken and rude according to what he wants from this dunya. And don’t worry, we have all those wrong characteristics, all of us we do, that is why we are here too, for the Sheykh to be able to take it out and to fix it.

May Allah forgive me and bless you Insya’Allah. May we always hold on tightly to our Sheykh and to give the rights of everyone but to give the rights of Allah and His Prophet PRIORITY. That is our priority. It is not anything else, it is not our parents, our children, those whom we love, or those who love us. It is Allah and His Prophet (asws). May Allah forgive me. Al-Fatiha.


stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2) Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
1 Rabiul Awwal 1438
December 1, 2016 stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2)


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