I am a woman who has experienced a lot of abuse. Nothing in this world gives me peace. What do I do to find satisfaction?


Question: I am a woman who has experienced a lot of abuse, emotional and psychological. I don’t know what to do with all the feelings that are inside of me. Nothing in this world gives me peace. What do I do to find satisfaction?

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Reality is, if you want your heart to be satisfied, you must say Allah. Allah is the Creator of satisfaction. Everything else is creation. If you want your heart to be satisfied, you must run to those who have satisfaction, from Allah. Not satisfaction from dunya, not satisfaction from their looks or their wealth or their intelligence. All those are fake. All those is just thrown to garbage. It is not real. Go to those ones who have real satisfaction grom their lord, Allah (swt). That way. Because in reality, so many of us we live lives trying to gain satisfaction from all those ones who teach us what satisfaction is, but all those ones are nothing but a spokesperson for the dunya and the ego.

We were not taught strongly when we were young. First thing we have to satisfy is Allah. We were not taught that, especially at this age. And we don’t teach our children that. We say to them, first thing you have to satisfy is your parents. Correct? And what is our parents satisfied with? That’s beyond us. First thing they say, we are satisfied with you if you study well. Why is that? Because if you study well, you graduate well, you get a good job. Dunya again. Completely dunya. So the kids, growing up, they are looking to, what they call, external validators, people who are outside to give them a reason for their existence, for their satisfaction, for their happiness. They are not looking inside, they are not looking to the Creator of happiness. They are looking to people who say what is happiness. Then they are discovering, as they grow up, because the kid that comes into this world, they already know what satisfaction is. They already know what happiness is. Then later, when all this propaganda starts hitting them, they grow up a little bit, then they start denying everything, because they discover that it was all false. But in that period when they are denying, when they are challenging, there is no clear voice, there is no clear teacher that comes forward. Then they are just going to grow up to be rebel, saying, “I cannot trust anyone, I can only trust myself.” Music is supporting that, movies is supporting that, everyone is aiming now, to that market, where they say, don’t trust anyone, just trust in yourself. But, you are empty. You went through a period of faith, then that faith is taken away from you. And now all you have is just disbelief, to push out every belief.

How can you trust disbelief? That is the time that in Islam, to be busy, the kids to be busy and to be in the company of the Awliya, the alims, to be in the company of holy people. To be in the company of people who are also busy doing something, working. Not really so much thinking. Working. Because with the work comes the thinking too. Problem solving, analysis, being sensitive, being open, thinking outside of the box. Because in that period of time, the, lets say, adolescence or teenager, you already have all these things. You want to think outside of the box, you want to be independent, you already have that. And, every song and every movie that tells you this, saying to you that you are independent, they are selling you a product. Saying, “you are free to think, but think this way. You are free to feel, don’t follow anyone, but feel this way, by this thing. Behave this, dress like this.”

So, if we are not raised with Allah as priority, then we are going to put this dunya, and everything else as priority, and it is only a matter of time before you’re going to feel that this dunya is a liar. It cannot satisfy you. The exposure to spirituality, peace, this is not just for people, spirituality is not for people who have done everything in their lives, now they have some free time to retire, and they start making zikr, and think about spirituality. Spirituality is not for people who have worked all their lives now they are free and then they start worshiping. No. Spirituality it is our life force. Without spirituality the religion will be dead. Religion in this country amongst the Muslims is very strong, but the spirituality is dead. That’s why you see people either making deviation, or they are coming out from that religion, emptying out that Masjid.

Nobody can say there is a decline of Masjids being built in this country, every year you see more and more and more Masjids, but people are empty. Because the Masjids themselves they are not teaching spirituality. Using religion as an excuse, just to make our dunya to become stronger. When that happens, you cannot gain satisfaction. Because,a’la bizikrillahi tatmainnul Qulub – Only in the remembrance of Allah will your heart find satisfaction. So, go to the ahle-zikr. Go to the ahle-zikr. Sit with them. They may teach you how to forget your pain. Go with the ahle-zikr. Sit with them. They may teach you how to use that pain, and to transform that into a jewel. Sit with the ahle-zikr. That all the abuse that you are getting, you will understand the secret and the rahmat of Allah in that too. Sit with them. That time your heart will be satisfied. SelamAleykum

. stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2)Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
29 Rabi al-Ahir 1438
January 27, 2017

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