What is the reason for someone who wants to forgive but he cannot forgive?



Tarikatuna Sohbet vel Khayri fil Jamia. Our brother has a question. It is a very important question. We will see, Insya’Allah ar-Rahman what our Sheykh is sending to us, and it’s going to make us to understand, to put that understanding into our lives and to live with that understanding and to die with that understanding. Insya’Allah. We know nothing, more that we are becoming empty, more they can fill us up. Once we claim that we are something, that time, our ego is going to trick us. Because the ego is the only one that declares its own existence in the presence of Allah swt. Nothing else that Allah has existed is claiming any existence. Because understanding, you came from non-existence, except for the ego.

Now, you have a question, you are asking what is the reason that someone who wants to forgive and he cannot forgive? That one is still stuck with his ego. That one is still stuck with himself. He is not taking the Divine characteristics yet from your Sheykh, from the Prophet, from Allah swt. You are still stuck with yourself. And you are still  not understanding why it happened, how it happened. Not something that happened to you but something you caused to happen. Very difficult to forgive. Why is that? you have not pass that, through that name of Ya Ghaffar. You have not pass that from that name of Ya Ghafoor. Don’t think, forgiveness is just to say, easy, ‘I forgive,’ not to feel anything, not to know. forgiveness is understanding. Understanding everything that had happened, understanding that what is going to happen, but understanding also that your Lord is looking and you are shame and shy in front of your Lord to ask for any rights. Because the rights of your Lord over you, it covers everything, and yet, Allah swt He is the most forgiving. So this Divine Quality, you have not taken it yet. You have not understood.

We are still stuck with our ego. We are still stuck with our Kalima, it’s saying ‘La illaha ilallah’. What we spoke about earlier, if you are not understanding the evil of your ego, the sheytan of your ego, you’re not going to make one step in Tarikat because you are still worshiping to yourself. Worshiping to yourself, that is the time you are committing a shirk. You are not pushing that away to say ‘La’ to the Ilah. Forget about ‘ilallah’. Don’t enter into that part yet. Just to say La to the Ilah that you have created in yourself, because for so many people, they are saying, ‘nothing exists, only I exist. I am the center of everything and because I exist I give existence to everything else. If I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist. If I don’t acknowledge its existence, it doesn’t exist.’ That is Allah’s Power. That is Allah’s right. That is His prerogative. It is not us. We are coming from non-existence. Are we understanding that?

So, a person who is finding it very difficult to forgive, he is only looking to his own hurt, to his own rights. That means that because he is not looking with the eyes of his guide or his Prophet, not looking with the eyes of Allah, not looking with that nur, there is still a separation now. There is still a separation between you and Allah. There is still a separation between you and your Sheykh. You have not then entered into that ocean where you say, ‘I am nothing. My Sheykh is everything. I am nothing, my Prophet is everything. Allah is everything.’ When you have not looked through the eyes of your Sheykh regarding these matters and you are still holding on to your own existence and your own ego that will lead you into very false understanding of yourself, of this dunya, of Ahiret and of Allah swt. Because I’m not talking about people who don’t forgive and they are bad people, maybe they are good people. Worshiping so much, but there are some things that they say, ‘I cannot forgive. I will not forgive.’ Oh, especially in some of our societies, some of our communities, some of our nations, very big, this one, right? ‘I will never forgive!’ This is one thing that the Holy Prophet (asws) came to destroy. What is that? Blood feud. One tribe did something to another tribe, they are fighting with each other for generations, and the generations that came after, they don’t even remember what was the real reason, they don’t even know what is the cause. They just know they’re continuing in this fight. ‘They are the enemies and we are the right ones.’ The other ones saying, ‘we are the right ones, they are the enemies.’ Prophet (asws) came to destroy that. He came to bring unity. Not to draw a separation between you and him.

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What is the separation that you should make? First with yourself to know, ‘this is coming from sheytan or this is coming from Rahman? This is coming from my ego or this is coming from my spirit?’ if you are clear in that separation, that whatever that is coming to your heart, ‘this is coming from Rahman, this is not coming from sheytan,’ if you are clear with that, then you are going to find Rahman everywhere. You are going to find the secret of that everywhere and you are not going to be fooled by just the form. Outside it may appear very wrong but inside you see there is something that is there, ‘I am going for that. I am going to take it. That is making us not to be separated.’

But if you’re still not separated, you’re still confused, you still don’t know, ‘is this is right or is this wrong?’ I can understand if you don’t have a guide you are getting confused. Those who are having guides they are confused. Why is that? Because they have doubt in their guides, that’s why. Doubt. What are we worshiping for? To gain Yakin, to have certainty. How are you going to have certainty, just by saying, ‘I have certainty’? You are going to have certainty just by saying, ‘I love you so much,’ you’re going to have certainty? You’re going to have certainty just by saying that or just feeling that? You will have certainty once you understand that you don’t matter, that one does. You don’t exist, that one does. Something is happening, your response is like this. But you’re looking, your guide’s response is different. You say, ‘I am nothing,’ you put it down, and you are going to say, ‘this is it.’ But once you start following a guide, and you’re saying, well, you know in reality we are the same. Because many in Tarikat, in Jama’at, they are having Wahhabi mentality. Doesn’t mean they don’t see certain openings but Wahhabi. Same. Or, sheytan that time may trick you, or they may open up certain things. You are starting to see and think, ‘eh? I am experiencing these things. My guide is not. I’m higher than him, but I cannot say that.’ But if it is that, what can I say. When are we saying ‘La’ to that? They are opening it, we say, ‘no. It is not.’ Because everything that comes to us is through that one’s hand anyway, from Allah swt.

So we are not understanding. We must understand, who we are. We are here to know Allah and to worship Allah. If we don’t understand ourselves we will never understand Allah swt. So, once you start looking at that one, not down, you are looking at that one, I’m saying once you start looking at the person who has done something wrong to you and you want to forgive but you cannot, once you stop seeing that one as down, lower than you, but you see that one as equal to you, and if you are sincere and you understand what is it that you have done to others and to your Lord, to your Prophet, you are going to be shy to ask for your rights now. This is what’s going to happen on the Day of Judgment. People are going to be very busy demanding their rights from each other. Meaning, people are going to be very busy condemning each other. Saying, ‘No! I am right. That one is wrong.’ So how are you going to get out of that mess? How are you going to get out from that mess if you are not understanding the value of syafa’at? How are you going to get out from that mess, before you give syafa’at, to understand that you have to have Rahmat. You have to be generous and you have to be forgiving, you have to be compassionate. Then that time you may give to others. This is the way of the Holy Prophet (asws). And his way is the most sublime way that a hundred and twenty four thousand Prophets they follow.

Forget about giving syafa’at, where are we today if we are just demanding revenge. Understand? Allah is watching. If you cannot, just say for the sake of Allah, I’m saying this. In reality, the one who is in this way, the way of Tasawwuf, they are not going to worry so much about what someone has done to them, but they look out for the ones whom Allah loves and they watch their rights very carefully. For their own rights they say, ‘EyAllah, what can I do?’ First step at least before you can forgive before you can say what can I do, I myself I did so many wrong things. Allah is going to judge that. There’s a lesson for me. There’s a wisdom there. I must take it.

Insya’Allah, Allah will grant us more wisdom and more understanding so that we are not going to be fooled by our ego. Ego’s destination it is the fire. May Allah not test us, Insya’Allah. WaminAllahu Taufiq, al-Fatiha. 


stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2)Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
26 Jamadial Awwal 1438
February 23, 2017

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