Question: Holy months are coming but I do not feel any excitement. How am I going to gain love and passion towards our Holy times and events? Before entering Islam, I used to wait for the special days of the unbelievers to celebrate. But now, because it is not for the nafs, I do not have excitement. On the contrary, I have fear. How will it get better for me?
BismillahirRahmanirRahim. Good, that is normal. Now understand how much mixed you are with your nafs, that you can only find excitement when it is something that is exciting your ego. Understand where our station is. But do some thinking. Don’t just say, ‘oh I’m excited. Before I used to celebrate valentine’s day,’ let’s say, ‘and now there’s no valentine’s day so I don’t celebrate, but I don’t feel the same way.’
Sit down, this is part of Tafakkur. Sit down, ask yourself why were you excited with valentine’s day? Why? Why were you excited to run after a celebration that especially today, if you talk about valentine’s day, you are talking about doing things, it’s all about beneath the belly button. If it’s really about love, love is not limited to two people, you are going to start taking care of this world. But it is not. It is only to take care of your ego. So understand, try to understand, why did I have passion? Is that passion correct or no? Are you understanding that that passion that you had before, it is false? Or are you still thinking that it is something that it is true? That it has a reality. If you are not understanding, you cannot change. The changing is just going to be from the outside, a habit. It’s not coming from the inside.
Our Shahadat is saying La Ilaha Ilallah. It doesn’t begin with Allah. There is no God but He. That’s another ayat anyway but there’s a different secret to that, but that’s not Shahadat. That means that we have to understand first and accept the falseness, understand that there is falseness and we have to believe and accept and remove that for the truth to come out. Because we are living in this world of untruth. So for you to believe in Holy Days, are you still believing in unholy days or not? Are you understanding, are you denying it? If you are not yet understanding that, then it’s not coming from the inside. It’s just something that you put on you. And what are the Holy Days and Nights in Islam? What are they for? Yeah, what are they for?
Rajab, Shaban, Ramazan. Rajab, the first Thursday night of Rajab is Laylatul Raghaib. Let’s say you like valentine’s day because that is the day you get chocolates, you are supporting the chocolate industry. Let’s just say that’s the day you get flowers, you are supporting the flower industry. That is the day your boyfriend or your girlfriend is giving some attention to you and you are supporting the restaurant industry by charging a lot of money on that day. Fake holiday. Supporting the greeting card industry, so many things. It’s all dunya. But you can break it down, you say, I like this because of this and this and this. What do you understand, for example, one night in Rajab, since you mention that, one night in Rajab; Rajab, Shaban and Ramazan, there are three months and there are four holy nights, I believe in that. Just one night, what do you understand that makes that night to be special? What do you understand about Laylatul Raghaib?
If you think that Laylatul Raghaib is just another night that we are just going to make zikr, we are just going to read some sohbet, we are just going to listen, then you are looking at something that is Holy only with this eyes, not with this eyes (Sheykh points to the heart). With this (physical) eyes, then that time with your ego, we are going to be like Abu Jahil, who says to the Holy Prophet (asws), ‘I look at you and you are the ugliest creature that I have ever seen,’ Hasha astaghfirullah. But the Holy Prophet (asws) is the most beautiful one. So whose eyes are you going to see now? If you are just going to see with your eyes and the eyes of your ego, then this world is going to be very enjoyable, very entertaining. But you scratch the surface just a little bit you are going to discover how ugly it is. You scratch the surface a little bit of valentine’s day, you are going to discover how ugly it is. But Laylatul Raghaib, of course that is the night that the light of the Holy Prophet (asws) was pass from his father to his mother. Now what is your relationship to that Holy Prophet (asws). Oh, you have such relationship to St valentine that you are celebrating his day? But you have no relationship to Rahmatil-ul Alamin, to Habibullah, to the ones who is going to give intercession to you? To the one who is crying night and day for you, to the one who is always looking out and praying for you? How dead your heart must be. Make your heart to become a little bit more alive.
Once you start understanding what that night is, understanding your relationship, and you sit and you be with your Allah, and you sit and yes, be with your Prophet (asws), send some Salawat to him, he listens, he hears very good. Make your heart to become more alive to his reality, that time some passion will spark. This kind of things you cannot do it just with books, you cannot. You have to find someone who is in love. You have to find someone who is in love with his Prophet (asws). That time, that love can be easily pass from him to you. You understand? Everybody knows, if somebody walks into the room and his face is sad, you’ll feel a little bit sad too and you know you are sad. If somebody comes in and the face is bright, you will also know if that one is in love or not. And because of that you will also feel some of that love, some of that happiness. Be with that one who is excited, who is proud, who is happy with his Lord and with his Prophet (asws). That time, you are going to understand. You are going to feel a little bit.
Yes, your ego is pretty hard on you. It may take some time. But don’t give up. And understand that you are dealing with something that is real. It’s not something that is fake. Holy Prophet (asws) said what? He says: weep, cry. In a Hadith e-Sharif he is saying, remember about Allah, you remember about your sins, for the sake of Allah, cry. And he also said, if you cannot cry, force yourself to cry. Meaning if you don’t feel it, put yourself in that situation, know that this non feeling is not coming from your spirit, it is coming from your ego, it is coming from sheytan. That is not real. Put that down. Let your spirit to shine through. So many times, when we first do wrong things, we don’t want to do it. Somebody show us that wrong thing, we don’t want to do it, ‘are you sure?’ Yeah. They force us to do it. We force ourselves to do it. So many bad habits we don’t just pick it up just like that. Years sometimes it takes. Why we are not looking at good habits the same way at least.
Give it some time. This is not batil, this is haqq. Slowly, when you have that faith, Allah is looking, it will come to you. You will feel that excitement. But that excitement is not the same way as the excitement of all the other kinds of celebrations that you may have. If you say, ‘I want that kind of excitement,’ then you are in the wrong road, wrong direction. The excitement, it is more than that. It is deeper than that. And it is something that you are taking that is given to you from the Lord of Creation, from the Lord of Mercy, that is giving to you. Holy days are there. Worship and ask. Anyway, you don’t feel it so much. Who cares. Just worship. One day it will come. Insya’Allah. Wa minaAllahu taufk. Al-Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
27 Jamadial Awwal 1438
February 24, 2017