Question: As I meet new people, a veil falls over my heart instantly. Either I think of them lower than me or I start thinking if I become friendly then they will start disturbing me or take advantage of me somehow. This fear of not being able to trust people, my previous bad experiences of where people have badly hurt me and my upbringing where I have been always restricted from socializing, has now made me arrogant. Ironically, whenever I have been arrogant about anything, I have lost it and now I understand that that in reality I have own nothing. This Rajab, how may I become humble?
Go to cemeteries. Go to cemetery and look to the people who are buried. Go to the hospital and see people who are suffering.
You are very spoiled, that’s why. It’s very focused on us, just our own thing. You’re not understanding what this world is going through. If you have some heart then you are going to know whatever that we are suffering, even if it’s so hard, ‘eh, I was abused, eh,’ all these kinds of things, how can we dare to say anything to Allah swt next to the sufferings that we are seeing every day through social media. At least that should wake us up a little bit. You fall back into that ghaflat, ‘oh, everyone is against me,’ then you are going to see, oh, look at these children who are starving and when they asked what is your favorite food he just says ‘bread.’ And they asked that kid, what is your favorite weather? ‘we like it when it’s cloudy.’ Why? ‘the drones they don’t fly when it’s cloudy and they can’t bomb us.’
Are we understanding, Allah is making us to become more aware of this world, for what? Just to have fun? Just to show off with each other that we read the headlines? Or to take lesson from it? This is another sign of not being grateful to Allah swt. Yes, go to cemeteries. Go to hospitals. Go to poor people. Go to the ones who are suffering and then sincerely ask, ‘my suffering compared to their suffering. Can I say something or no?’ You cannot. Maybe that time when you move yourself to help other people, not just asking help for yourself, that that pain and that confusion and that fog that is around your heart, it will lift. Most of the time it’s like that. Go help someone. Be busy with that. We are living in very terrible times. This is not good times. These are very, very terrible times. We are living in the times where not only tyrants they rule the world, but they are madmen. They are crazy. Do you understand? Not even Firaun was crazy. They are worse than that. What is our little suffering compared to the bigger picture that is happening? We cannot say we don’t know. You know. In your own country you know.
So every day what are you thinking of? What is worrying you? What is occupying your mind? Oh, yourself. It’s not too good. Understanding what is happening out there and at least saying, ‘astaghfirullah, ya Rabbi’ and ‘shukr, ya Rabbi,’ more shukr will come. Otherwise, your ego is just playing with you, going round and round and round and round, never finishing.
Astaghfirullah al azim wa atubu ilaih. Insha’Allah, Allah will make it easy for you. If you are a Murid and if you come here, the Dergah, then I have other words to say to you. That time I may say to you, ‘you are so like this, eh? Go to the toilet. Clean it and say, ‘my ego is worse than that.’ Go to the barn. Go work. Work until you’re too tired to even think and for your ego to play games inside of you the whole day. Yes, then we may break something, we can move forward to that. Otherwise the ego has hundreds and thousands of tricks and traps. And that enemy, it is within us, it is not outside. Wa min Allahu Taufiq, Fatiha. Astaghfirullah al azim wa atubu ilaih.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
OSMANLI DERGAHI- New York
17 Rajab 1438
April 14, 2017