Question: What is the role of loneliness in Tarikat? Is it important to feel lonely at times or is it a trick from sheytan and our ego? Also, how can we make loneliness to bring us closer to Allah?
There is a difference between loneliness and being alone. There is a difference between alone and being lonely, different. What is that difference? Alone is you are by yourself. Lonely is a feeling you have that even if you are with one thousand people you feel that there is no connection at all, no one. There’s no connection.
Now, what is the role of loneliness, to feel that you have no connection to anyone? In Tarikat, there is a role of being alone in Tarikat, yes. The seclusion is being alone. When you’re praying, you’re alone. When you’re going to be buried you’re going to be buried alone. Although you are, everyone is breathing and looking at the same thing, whatever that you are witnessing and breathing and seeing, no one else is feeling the same way a hundred percent. You are always alone. And that is showing the miracle of the Oneness of our Lord, that He has created everyone, singular, unique, one. Not two, not three, no copy. Everything is one. Everything.
The snow that you see falling down now, there is no two snowflakes that is similar. From the billions of years, thousands of years, to now, until Judgment Day, no two. No two blades of grass they are the same. No two footprints they are the same. No two fingerprints they are the same. Everything, no two breaths they are the same, everything is pointed to the oneness, oneness of Allah. Oneness of Allah. Now, loneliness, when you feel that you have no connection to no one at all because you are alone, that is something that is very dangerous and that is something that is coming from the ego. Because even if you say that ‘I’m alone,’ you’re never alone. There are always ones that are around you. Especially if you are in Tarikat you are never alone, your Sheykh is always with you. The angels are always with you, Allah is always with you. So why are you feeling alone, why are you feeling lonely? You may say, ‘I don’t have a connection,’ ah that’s something else. If you say, ‘I don’t have a connection,’ then you’re going to work to make that connection. You’re going to work to make that connection with your Lord, with your Prophet.
Maybe you say in a group, ‘I don’t have any connection to this one,’ it’s okay, but you cannot say, ‘I don’t have any connection to anyone, I’m alone and I’m lonely because I cannot connect to anyone,’ then that is ego. That is complete ego. Allah has made you unique and alone, but He has not created us lonely, because He says loneliness is only for Him. For Allah. And He says, ‘My creatures, you cannot bear this loneliness, it is not for you, it is only for Me.’
So, of course, emotionally, you may feel disconnected. Emotionally you may feel that, ‘okay, no one understands me,’ but you know, how long we’re going to continue with that understanding? Especially if you’re saying that you are part of Tarikat, you don’t have a connection to Allah? Okay, you don’t have connection to no one, then what is your connection to Allah, then how can you be alone and lonely? How can you be lonely? You don’t have a connection to the Prophet how can you be lonely? You’re lonely because you are busy with yourself; this is why you are lonely. You are busy with yourself. When you’re not busy with yourself, to spoil yourself, to just listen to yourself, to say, ‘oh, poor me,’ when you’re not being busy with that but you’re actually being busy with someone out there that you can help, that may need it, what is it that you can do? You can smile. That is a charity.
That the Prophet says, ‘if two people they meet each other, the one who is more cheerful Allah loves him more, Allah bless him more.’ The Prophets they had the most difficult lives, but they are the most cheerful people. Because they understand what is the wisdom of that suffering that they went through. They say, ‘this is not real, this is not permanent, this is a test coming from my Lord, and every test He’s only giving me so that I can become better.’ So now, first, this loneliness you may go through it say, especially in these days in this country like this, when you are a teenager, certain things happen to you. But Allah makes us also to go through life you know. You may feel like this when you’re twenty; it’s not the same when you’re thirty, definitely not the same when you’re forty, when you’re fifty, when you’re sixty, when you’re seventy years old. Cannot be the same.
Forget about the negative things, negative cannot be the same. Even that pleasure it is not the same. The pleasure you feel when you’re twenty years old, when you’re forty it’s different. And when you’re sixty it is different. Something else takes over, now you are pulling yourself more and more away from this world and higher and higher there then you say, ‘okay, this is necessary for me to go through, but this is not the end of it, this is just for me to jump out, all this pleasure of this world, all this loneliness, it’s just for me to use it to reach higher now, I’m not going to be stuck with that.’
So there is a time now that you’re going to be by yourself and when you are by yourself it is not to say, ‘oh, poor me, nobody understands me,’ no. You’re going to say to your ego, ‘oh what a disobedient one, so much disobedient one you are, your Lord has given you so much and you’re not looking to the mercy, but you only know how to complain twenty four hours.’ You only know how to complain. You think you’re the only one with that pain. And with that loneliness, sheytan is just going to interfere, definitely. Because sheytan he’s the only one who is lonely. Why is he lonely? He is lonely because he’s saying, ‘I don’t want to be with Allah.’ Why is he saying, ‘I don’t want to be with Allah,’? Because Allah says, ‘make sajda to Adam (AS).’ ‘No, I don’t want to.’ Which in reality it is the envy that he has for the Prophet, it is not also because of Adam (AS). You understand?
And sheytan will say, ‘okay, you are lonely, you are alone, nobody understands, nobody understands, nobody feels, nobody cares, nobody cares,’ then what is the end of that? I never see anyone who gets depressed and nobody cares and they help other people, they build things and they become, no, it’s always, end this life. This life is worthless. But, just look around a little bit; instead of just looking to yourself look around a little bit, then you’re going to understand the pain you’re going through, that one is also going through it that one is also going through more pain, that one’s pain you cannot even compare to yours. When you start looking around, then that pain you went through, the intelligence is going to say, I don’t like that pain, I can help that one, he’s going through that pain, I can help, because I know what it feels like.’ Then once you start helping, then you’re burden is going to be lifted too. Because there is meaning, you know why now. There is a meaning to your pain, there is a meaning to your pleasure, it’s not for nothing. When nothing means nothing that’s when you say it doesn’t matter anymore. That’s why you see people, especially these days sheytan is very busy trying to make people to kill themselves, that’s why you see people sometimes they get very depressed and they kill themselves. Sometimes you see that they are the most happy people, suddenly they’re dead.
But when you have a meaning, and a very simple meaning, I’m not talking about faith or spirituality or religion, just a meaning, for example, if you have a child and you have to help that child, how can you think about yourself? Of course in these days sheytan has infected so many people, you see mothers killing their children. And you ask them and they say, ‘I don’t know why, there’s no reason.’ Every day we’re hearing this, where is this happening? Where is this happening? In third world countries? No, it’s happening in first world countries. Where they have everything, but there is no meaning. Reading the other day, who was it, the mother I think, just taking a gun, children is sleeping, just shooting them, and then shoot the other one. Then say, ‘oh, I don’t know, something just take over.’ Astaghfirullah.
This is also being in a place and in a world where there is cruelty everywhere. We spoke about the cruelty yesterday, animals, cruelty is everywhere, when you take the rights of people, take the rights of this world, when you don’t care, when the only one that you care for is yourself, and what you care for yourself is only for your pleasure. Not that you care and you want to become better too, no, it’s only for your pleasure. So the heart dies. The heart becomes dead. May Allah protect us from that, look to see, what is He saying, the creator of our heart, what is He saying? He’s saying, ‘Allah Bizikrillahi Tatmainnal Qulub.’ Only in the remembrance of Allah can the heart find satisfaction. InsyaAllah, may we always be together with our Sheykh and those who love the Prophet (AS), to find satisfaction in this world and the next insyaAllah. Al fatiha. Amin. Selam aleykum.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
Osmanli Dergahi New York
2 Rabiulawwal, 1440
9 November, 2018