Question: What do you do to find your weak sides?
What do you do to find out about those weak sides? That means how do you study yourself. How do you know whether you are weak or you are strong?
Look at what you like and look at what you don’t like. Easy, look at what you like and what you don’t like, then ask yourself, ‘why do I like this? Why I don’t like this?’ Question yourself. In tarikat, they say don’t ask ‘why.’ Meaning you have to find out. Not just to ask ‘why?’ American type, ‘why?’ Eh, hoping for the answer to come, demanding for the answer to come but you don’t understand. When you are finding, finding, finding and the answer come to you because you are looking, you will discover it, it will stick to you. It becomes part of you. But when somebody just give it to you like that, you have no connection to it.
So what is it that you like, why you like it? Especially you are first taking serious step in this way, you are going to say, ‘I like to eat this.’ Why do you like to eat this? ‘Because it taste good. Nothing wrong with that.’ Yes it is. If you’re eating it just because it taste good. Because if everything that we are doing is for the sake of Allah, now the reason that we eat it is to give us energy so that we can worship. Taste good, taste spicy, taste this, taste that, it is just by the way. So now, what is the reason for us eating? So you go deeper. You are going to ask, ‘why I eat?’ Just one thing, you can spend one whole day, depending on your level, you can spend week or months asking yourself that, answering, finding, finding, finding. Just one thing. And we do thousands of things everyday.
So entering into this way, to ask. This is part of discovering yourself. ‘I don’t like to do this work.’ Why you don’t like to do this work? ‘Because it’s dirty.’ So what if it’s dirty? Keep asking. Don’t settle for any easy answer. Then you will come to understand that you are not as sophisticated as you think you are. Your ego is not sophisticated at all. It tries to look as if it’s so sophisticated, so much philosophy, so much psychology, so much this, so much that, but it comes down to very basic fundamental desires, likes and dislikes. ‘I don’t like it because I’m lazy.’ That’s it. You say to yourself. Don’t say to other people please. Don’t try to be therapist, psychiatrist to other people. You do to yourself. You understand? Just, ‘oh, I don’t like it because I’m lazy.’ That’s good to know. ‘Why I like this? I like this because it taste good.’ Okay. ‘It’s halal.’ Okay, that’s not good enough now. You are eating that, it’s halal. Now, let’s do this for the sake of Allah. How we can turn that to become for the sake of Allah now? And then you are going to see your limit. You are not going to go too much deep into it.
So, step by step that you are going to find out a little bit more about yourself. Then you are going to say other things. Why am I in this religion? Why am I a Muslim? Anybody ever ask? Those who are looking for their faith, must ask themselves everyday, ‘why am I a Muslim?’ So many say, because I’m born into it. That’s not faith. No faith you’re born into faith. That faith, you discover it. Something is opened up to you. You understand it. Why am I in Tarikat? Why do I pray? Why do I do this? And if you are looking, looking, looking, looking, and if it’s not….don’t settle for any easy answer. You may say, ‘oh, I do it for the sake of Allah.’ What is that mean, for the sake of Allah? What does it mean? ‘I pray.’ Why do you pray? I pray for Allah to be pleased with me. Really? Is that really what you are thinking when you pray? ‘oh no. I pray because I fear to be punished.’ Okay, now we can work with something because you are sincere. You are honest with yourself. ‘I pray because it makes me feel good to pray.’ Okay, it’s somewhere. It’s not wrong. None of these answers that you gave, they are wrong hundred percent. But it’s not sincere hundred percent. You understand?
‘I’m praying because Allah loves me to pray, because it is an order. Although I don’t like it, all of this, I’m praying to please Him.’ So when you do something to please someone, it doesn’t matter how you feel. What matters is how that one feels. One day you may be so in love with praying. Next day you don’t want to pray. What are you going to do? One day you pray, one day you don’t pray? No, it is an obligation. And it makes that one happy. Maybe somedays you’re doing it and you are doing it full sincerity, some days you are not, but in the way of Tarikat, it is not the days that is so easy for you to do and you do you are going to get great reward. It is the day when you don’t want to do and you are stepping on your ego and you are cutting that ego that you do. That you will get great reward because of that. You understand? So easy to do something because you like to do it for the sake of Allah. What if you don’t like to do something for the sake of Allah. That’s the time when you are taking the will into your hands and you submit to Allah’s will.
So insyaAllah, slowly. Don’t go too crazy. Step by step. You have things to make you busy, you have things for you to do to worship, to make zikr, to be busy outside, especially if you are men, get your mind off it because so many things you are not going to understand or you are not going to be able to fix just because you sit and you think. It doesn’t work like that. Because the answer doesn’t just come from you sitting and thinking. The answer may come through here, through here, through work, through this, through that, through another person. Because that now, that is the life cycle of a man. Answer just doesn’t come when it’s summer. Answer may come in the winter. It may come in any season, any situations, but you have to look. insyaAllah. Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
Osmanli Dergahi NY
16 Zul Qaida 1440
July 19, 2019