How do you take account without giving yourself a break?


QUESTION: When we are taking accounting of the things that we did, we are looking at it from our eyes. How we experienced that thing, how do we break that so that we’re not looking just from our eyes, which speaking from myself, you tend to give yourself a break. To look at things in your own favor, how can you look at something so that you’re putting it real, what really happened, not your tint on it?


How does one become just? How do you become fair? How you are looking at the rights of everyone other than just your own rights and how to protect your rights? This is when the sincerity of faith kicks in. This is when you become a sincere believer. The sincere believer does not look to himself first. The sincere believer looks to himself last. He puts the rights of others first. The believer looks to the rights of Allah first. If you take accounting, meaning accounting of what? Of your deeds, of your actions, of your intentions, what you did today, ‘what did I speak? How did I speak? Why was I angry? Why was I being arrogant? I managed to help this person, that is good. But what was my intention of doing it? Why did I talk too much? Why did I talk too little? Why was I being stubborn?’ This is taking account. Taking accounting is you sitting down, which is a practice in the Naksibendi order, to do that at least. Sheykh Effendi used to say, one hour a day, but these days the Evliyaullah saying five minutes a day, it is enough. You don’t even do five minutes a day. I know. It’s not a very easy thing to do too in these days, because people become very busy with everything, the heart is circling around everything, you don’t give the heart a break, you don’t give the eyes a break, you don’t give the ears, the nose, everything you don’t give a break, especially living in certain situation, certain country, 24 hours, correct? If there is a situation where you give yourself a break, into what? Mostly into nature. Either it’s a desert, you give yourself a break. In a desert, man is very very unimportant. Or in the jungle, man is very unimportant. Or in the mountains, man is very unimportant. So when man runs into the creation of Allah, he will understand himself a little bit more, it’ll be easier for him to take accounting. But when a man is surrounded in a kingdom that he made of his own, then very difficult to run. Because everywhere that you are making this kingdom everywhere around you, it is pointing to yourself. It is pointing to you. ‘I did this. I did this. I did this. I bought this.’ Look in your houses, our little Kingdoms. It’s all a reflection of you.

The kingdom of Allah it is not a reflection of man, it is a reflection of that King, the King of Kings, of our Creator. So where do you want, what do you want to contemplate on? On yourself? But your kingdom is just your ego. The kingdom of Allah, it is not Allah’s ego, estaghfirullah, it is Allah’s greatness, because He is great. We are not. We think we are great just because we have nice insulation, nice AC, nice heat, nice food, nice this…. and we say, this is our kingdom. Take away everything how are we going to survive? We have more respect on people who are able to survive in extreme situation, and now at that time we have more respect for them. And people living in those kind of extreme situation and natural surroundings, very difficult to find them extremely arrogant because they are saying, ‘ we cannot control this so many things. We are more humbled. We are more humbled.’ The farmers are more humble, down to earth. But when you move to the city, you build everything, you become very arrogant. You think you’ll live for a thousand years. And Allah SWT has said in the Quran e-Kerim, ‘have you forgotten, how many thousands of cities We have destroyed?’ But the Kingdom of Allah, this nature, continues. It continues. The Owner will take care of it. Even if man puts all the weapons together to blow up this world, it will be very bad, but after some time everything is going to go back again. After some time, everything is going to grow. After some time the nature is going to overtake and it will seem as if man never existed in this world again. So, you take accounting, which is judgement. You are judging yourself. This is what you are going to do on judgement day. Judgement day. Sit and do accounting as if it is judgement day. Not you yourself saying, ‘ I did this, I did this,’ but imagine that charge is brought by an angel, you are accuse of this, you are going to fight on judgement day? No, at the very least you are going to say what? ‘I admit. Estaghfirullah.’ At least start with that kind of accounting. ‘I did this. I did this. This is wrong. I know I did this and this is wrong. Estaghfirullah.’ Start with that. Before you can even go down inside and start to, ‘okay, I did this. I say Estaghfirullah, really why did I did this? I did this because this one pushed him. But why did I behave like this? I behave like this because for so long, people pushed me, I behave like this. But is that a real reason? Why I have to push like that because people are pushing me like this? Where did it begin? How can I break out of it?’ That’s when you start tearing your ego’s veils apart. You understand? Judgement.

On judgement day, you cannot excuse yourself. Think of it that way. Think of it that way. This is also something, I was going to say, cultural. In the east it’s a little bit easier, in the west, but now everywhere it’s very bad, it’s very terrible. Because, teaching different things when you are growing up. What did you teach them first? What is it? Now, in the Islamic way, first you have to teach them the love of Allah and the fear of Allah. Allah first and the Prophet (AS). It is not loving themselves first. That time you align yourself differently. But if you are going to teach the kid and say, ‘no, no, no. He is too young for all of that, wait until he’s sixteen years old, wait until he’s twenty-five, wait until he is forty years old, oh it’s too late already.’ It’s too late. Like what they say, you know how bamboo when they are growing, they are very straight and tall and some bamboo they are so thick and so hard. When it’s tall and thick like that, try to bend it. You cannot. You cannot bend it. When are you going to bend it? When it’s just coming out, when it’s soft. Sometimes you see parents, they are not teaching their children. They teach everything but they don’t teach discipline. They don’t teach manners. It is also a knowledge. Discipline is a knowledge. Manners is a knowledge, kindness is a knowledge. But they teach everything else, but they don’t teach these things. And these are heavenly teachings. No heavenly teachings came down, no Prophet came to this world with the heavenly teachings of how to teach and to lie and to get ahead in this world. None. How to be slick, how to take advantage of other people, how to be aggressive, how to bully, in order to become the top. None. Every Prophet came to teach people manners, to teach people knowledge, to teach people how to expand the heart. So that the heart now, you have a heart, you have a heart, you have a heart, you have a heart. We all have, more or less the same. So what hurts you is going to hurt me, what hurts me is going to hurt you. So if I hurt this person, it is as if I am hurting myself. So that time, you start seeing things, you stop seeing thing from the eyes of your ego which is declaring itself, one, only existing, and you start to see with the eyes of your heart. What do I mean by the eyes of your heart? You put yourself in other people’s shoes. Even if that one is doing something bad to you, you are like, ‘put yourself in his shoes. Try to understand. I wonder why he’s doing like that?’ Not just to say, ‘oh, he’s a bad person.’ ‘I wonder why? Oh, he’s doing bad because he had a bad day. Because something happened. Because he was abused. Because he was this, because he was that.’ It’s not an excuse, which we should be doing because Prophet (AS) is saying, ‘make excuses for your brother.’ Why make excuses? Don’t judge him. Make excuses for your brother. Give him at least seventy excuses.

So you put yourself in his situation and you say, ‘well, if I were him, I would probably do the same.’ because why? Because of this, because of this, because of this. Because we do that. When we do something, we have so many because of this, because of that. So once you put yourself into the person’s shoes, you start seeing it with his eyes. Your heart gets a little bit bigger. You think the heart cannot contain? Why do you think Holy Prophet (AS) is able to contain all the hearts of his ummat and the hearts of all the Prophet? Because the heart is the throne of Allah and He is the owner of the throne. He is the one who is sitting there. Allah is the Creator. So, give the rights to your Lord. Give the rights. Look at it through His eyes. For that you have to be in a situation where it’s easy. You understand? You cannot be in a situation where you are surrounded by ego and desire and excuses for yourself and you try to think like that. You cannot. You have to pull yourself out. Once you know how to do it properly then that time, anywhere you go, you may have that with you. The first step is to say, ‘I am at fault.’ that is only the first step. Because with that comes other tricks and traps of the ego. The ego will try to, when you say, ‘it’s my fault.’ Then you have to go deeper. When you go deeper, the ego will try to attack from that level. You have to go deeper and deeper and deeper. And the deeper that you go, the more help is going to reach to you. The more help. So many times, deeper that you go, deeper that you go, when your ego is just making you crazy. It comes to the point when it’s not about thinking so hard. It’s not about being so smart, it’s not about coming up with good reasons or excuses, it’s all about, ‘I am wrong, you are right. Help me.’ isn’t it? Can you do that? Can you admit that you are wrong, can you? Can you say, ‘this is it. I don’t know anything else. Okay, I give up. I’m asking for Your help.’ Because the ego is very tricky

Sometimes, a person all they need is a hug, to break the backbone. Am I speaking something nonsense? Why is that? Because so many times when people fight, Sheykh Effendi tells them to stand up and give each other a hug and he says, ‘today we broke the backbone of sheytan.’ Sometimes, it’s all that’s necessary. Some people they get so upset, but they don’t want to come in front of us. Because with that sheytan’s backbone will be broken. Because they are being a child. Just that, it’ll be okay because something is going to melt.’ But they don’t want us to do that. They don’t dare to come in front of us. EyAllah. May Allah forgive me and bless you, insyaAllah. May Allah raise the station of our Sheykh. May goodness reach to us through His barakat, insyaAllah. May we be useful in His way, may His protection be on us and guiding us, insyaAllah ar-Rahman, to please Allah and His Prophet (AS) and to bring Haqq back into this world, into our lives, to make us to live for it and to die for it. Al-Fatiha. Amin.

stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2)Shaykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
Osmanli Dergah, New York

8 Jamada al-Awwal 1441
January 2, 2019
stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2)


This entry was posted in Questions and Answers, Sheykh Lokman Effendi (2019). Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s