Question: How do we know if we are sincere?
You know how? When you swallow bad things that’s happening to you. When dislike things happen to you and you become patient, that’s showing you’re sincere. Okay? When people poke you or people are being very annoying to you or people scream at you or they shout at you or they blame you for things that you’re completely not responsible for and you are patient. Or life throws things at you, difficult, and you’re patient.
Allah praises these two groups very highly, putting them next to each other, who are they? The sincere ones and the patient one. Sincere and the patient ones. So it comes together, how do you know if you’re not sincere? When you’re very impatient. You’re so nice, when people are nice to you you’re so nice, you’re smiling, you’re happy, when someone says something you become a tiger, you become a lion, you start attacking, you become very upset, you become very dark. You understand? But, of course, this is not to say in the dergah I’m giving anyone any right to poke at anyone, don’t think, ‘oh, I’m going to shout at you and you have to be patient.’ It doesn’t mean that. If I see someone saying, ‘oh, I’m just a tool of my Sheykh, I’m a test,’ let me know. Doesn’t work like that here, you understand? Not like that. But, when you are being patient with everything that is coming to you, every rub that is coming to you, what happens when a dirty, lets say, a stone, a piece of glass, it gets rubbed and rubbed and rubbed and cut, sliced, and rubbed and sliced and rubbed, it becomes like a crystal, it becomes very beautiful, you understand? So people are not understanding. Then there are different levels, of course, there’s ones coming from the murids, ones coming from your friends, ones coming from the ones that you don’t like, ones coming from your family, ones coming from elderly ones, ones coming then from your Sheykh now, oh. You’re seeing it’s a cut, but you’re not understanding, if you cut it, the light and the fire from inside the diamond will come out. It’s a very delicate situation too, if you cut it wrongly it loses it’s value, correct or not?
So be patient, and think, have intelligence with patience too, don’t just say, ‘oh, it’s okay, it’s okay,’ no, look at yourself, ‘I’m behaving this way, why am I behaving this way? Why is my heart beating like this when someone is doing that, why, why is that? Why is that? I’m so weak that someone is playing me like an instrument? He says nice things I’m dancing, he says bad things I’m being like an animal, he’s doing this, my heart is like this… is that me? Why am I so weak? I shouldn’t be so weak, why am I behaving like this? This is not necessary. I must become more strong than that.’ Someone is saying something to you, look. Yeah, I’m wrong, people they are always trying to make excuse for themselves, ‘I’m wrong, but he shouldn’t use those words. I’m wrong, but he shouldn’t shout at me, just tell me nicely. I’m wrong, but this, I’m wrong, but that,’ Tarikat is you are wrong, you are wrong. Put your head down. Put your head down. Isn’t that what the khutba is saying? First, put your head down. You think the Sheykh is not knowing? He knows. They tell him, you think he doesn’t, but he will know. Sooner or later things will come out.
You never think, no one ever thinks, oh, I do some small thing, I’m getting punished so much, this is unfair, but no one ever thinks that maybe this is payment for so many wrong things that I did in my past that I got away with it. And what punishment am I getting now? Nothing, just some words, just some hot words that makes my heart to beat like this, it’s nothing, you understand? This is trying to use some thinking, trying to use some intelligence. You’re going to say, eh, I deserve more. The person is saying, ‘I did wrong things, I know,’ and if you are thinking, you are honest and sincere to yourself and you’ve done this and this and this, you remember all these things and you say, ah, it’s okay. That time, even if you are right and that person is wrong, listen husbands and wives, always, then you say, ‘oh, but I did this to my Allah, I did this to me Prophet, I did this to my Sheykh.’ That time, even if you are so upset and you are a hundred percent right, that one is wrong and you have a right to be upset, you go down a little bit. As a matter of honor. You say, ‘I can’t… okay, fine. I cannot be.’
So everything is now what? More what? Under control. Isn’t that what the khutba is saying, to control. These are the ways to control, not just to say, ‘eh, it’s okay, ah, I’m being patient, ah,’ hiding, hiding, hiding, not knowing what to do with it. This is, what they say, you process it. Like what Sheykh Effendi says, ‘first, swallow. Learn how to swallow. Then, learn how to digest.’ Digestion is the processing, digestion means good things you take, bad things you throw out, you don’t even look at it, not bad things you keep looking at it, ‘how it can be?’ you don’t even look at it, it doesn’t concern me. Good things you take. Then, you will learn how to control it. You will learn how to control. And Allah just wants us to do that, what are we doing when we control it? That is Jihad-ul Akbar. InsyaAllah, you understand? So, insyaAllah, slowly we will practice this.
Shaykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
Osmanli Dergah, New York
8 Jamada al-Awwal 1441
January 3, 2020