Question: How does one bring their weakness to the Sheykh?
If you don’t practise with little things then it’s very difficult to practise with the big thing. You cannot. Look at the things that you are holding on tightly to, to say, ‘this is my life, this is not Tarikat,’ or ‘this is my people. This is not ikhwan. This is my strength, it has nothing to do with Islam or Tassawwuf or the way of the Dergah.’ Look at those things that you are holding on tightly to. When you start letting go of those things and start consulting, then things will become better. Because it’s not looking at your weakness, it’s looking at your strength. You are strongly holding off, strongly fighting against that, which one are those ones? Some people they say, ‘oh I love my Sheykh, I love sohbet, I love zikr, but my family matters, no this has to do with me.’
How many of us we went through that? ‘What is this got to do with Hoja? It’s between us…What is this got to do with Lokman Effendi? This is family matter…What is this got to do with this? It’s work….what is this got to do with that….’ then that time we will be weak and that weakness is according to your stubbornness. It’s not your weakness because you realize you are weak. Because if you realize you are weak, you are always going to ask for help. Do you need help or you think you are right? When you think you are right and you are not really getting much help on that situation, then that’s when you are going to make the repeated mistakes. Same mistakes over and over again and that’s the time when you are not going to be able to take control of the situation, to say, ‘wait, this is my ego. This is not. This is someone else’s ego, this is sheytan.’ You cannot see. You are just caught up again. Caught up in that whole thing that you’ve been doing, cycle, over and over and over and over and over again. And then it doesn’t matter whether you are sitting in front of the Prophet or not because you are not including the Prophet (AS) in your own daily life, you are not including him.
This is what Tarikat is, there’s shariat, yes, the dos and donts but tarikat is a lifestyle. You have to take that lifestyle and you have to put it in your lifestyle. Lifestyle means life. It means life, it means what you do to each other as a family, as a community, your work, your thinking, your ideas, everything. People are making friends with people who cannot help them, ‘ah I feel comfortable.’ Breh, if that is the most important thing then why you go to the doctor? Most people think doctors they are very uncomfortable, they are doctors, you have to go there. Now being in Tarikat for sometime, you need to trust.
We are just speaking, you see now certain things have to shift, certain things have to change, especially after a while, this is not working. If it’s working we are not going to touch it. Maybe it’s good, maybe, because even things that you are working and it’s not mixing in, connecting with Tarikat, it will only work up till a certain point. After that it doesn’t work anymore.
So now your lifestyle, you’ve got to look at your lifestyle. How does the Sheykh deal in this kind of situation? How does he deal with children, how does he deal with wife, how does he deal with this, how does he deal with that? You have to. If you don’t, you keep on making the same mistakes, you take one step forward, you take two steps backwards. Because everyone is caught up in their own cycle. Everyone is caught up in their own lives that they can’t break out from it. It’s a pattern that they have. The Sheykh they are just offering a different way of looking at it. The way, step by step you are going to see according to this eye, according to this eye. Now you start seeing it, even according to your own eyes, most people they don’t see it, that’s why they are just caught up in that cycle. But once you break out and you start looking at it, then you start looking with your own eyes. Then that time you say, okay, now you are looking, now you are understanding? Good, now look at it through my eyes. Now look at it through this other person’s eye, why this is happening. Now you look at it through this other person’s eye, why this is happening. Now you look at it through this other person’s eye. You cannot just be drunk. When you are caught up in that cycle, not understanding, not knowing, not thinking, you are drunk. Once you start looking with the eyes of your Sheykh, the Sheykh is just saying, ‘now look at it through different angles, look at it through a hundred different eyes, you’ll get hundred different ways of understanding. But you are so caught up in your own way of doing things and it doesn’t work. Everytime.
We are not ones who are going to listen to anyone except for our Lord and our Prophet and our Sheykh. That’s it. You understand. Who else, who is going to put pressure on us, this and that, it doesn’t matter. If anything, you are going to take a step back, you have to be very strong and say, ‘insyaAllah. We will see.’ Not to get caught up. Otherwise it doesn’t really make much of a difference. Because with this person maybe the way that you are behaving, you are stuck thirty years ago. Maybe you are forty years old but you are still behaving as if you are ten years old. You are still repeating that thing. This other person, twenty years ago, this other person, ten years ago. You are still stuck. Don’t you know? But then you have to grow. How is it, you haven’t seen your family for so long, maybe for some people, but you’ve got to grow. You cannot be stuck where it was twenty years ago. The way of thinking, the way of understanding, the way of approaching things, you have to bring everything in. You cannot just, ‘oh, this person is like this, they always made me…’ that means that they have already rewired you, they get you under their skin and then at anytime they can control you like that. You cannot be. You must be controlled by Allah. You must be controlled by the Prophet. You must be controlled by the Evliyaullah. This is why you’ve been trained. You haven’t been under training with them. With your Sheykh, you have. Now what are the things that you must shake off, what are the things that you must take on, you must know this. This is to become self aware.
To become aware. If we are not aware of yourself, why are we in Tarikat? If you are not aware of yourself. They whole point of us here is to study ourselves, is to know ourselves, to study ourselve. If you are not aware, then why are you here? Why are you wasting your time? All your zikr, all your sohbets, everything is to make you to become more aware. ‘Why am I doing this? What is the reson why am I doing this? You give one answer, it’s not good enough. That’s the answer I’ll always give to hundred different people when they ask. You have to ask a different why. When you get deeper and deeper, then you start looking at yourself properly. You are not going to be satisfied with simple answers that you give. InsyaAllah.
Better break out from that, in everyone of us. Allah make it easy, insyaAllah. Wa minaAllahu taufiq. Al-Fatiha. Amin.
Shaykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
Osmanli Dergah, New York
8 Jamada al-Awwal 1441
January 3, 2020