Question: How can we separate pain and sorrow from complaining?
For people of faith, people of common sense, they understand that there is nothing to be gained from complaining. Does anybody love a complainer? Nobody loves a complainer, correct? So how do you separate complaining from sorrow?
It has become so combined these days that if something happens to you, first thing you have to do is you have to talk, you have to post, you have to say something. This is what’s happening because majority they don’t internalize it anymore, they don’t think, they don’t make tafakkur, they don’t try to understand, it’s just blah, everything you have to have people to give you some validation, you have to have people to say something to you then you’re going to feel something. This is part of the egoism of what they say, narcissistic. When people notice you that’s the only time you exist. If people don’t notice you, you feel very bad, you feel as if you’re dead, you don’t exist. They say, tree falling in the forest. So many trees are falling in the forest. Allah is watching, the angels are seeing, the believers they know. And common sense believing people, they say, ‘Allah is hearing.’
None of the Prophets ever did that, and the Prophet that Allah (SWT) is always showing the heaviness of the punishment that is reaching, not punishment, the heaviest thing that the Prophets were carrying was on the Holy Prophet (AS), did he ever complain? You ever hear him complain? If he complains, what does he say? ‘I complain about my own weakness.’ So, I understand unbelievers they’re doing what you’re saying they’re doing, but believers doing this? How is that possible? How is that possible? That means you just take the form of the Ahli Sunnat and the form of the religion but you don’t take, forget about Tarikat, you don’t take the spiritual lessons of the Prophet (AS) or the Sahabi-e-Kiram. You ever hear any of the Sahabi-e-Kiram complain? You hear Hazreti Bilal complaining? ‘Oh, today, oh, so much happened to me.’ He’s saying that? Any of them? Ever? No. So since when Muslims are complaining so much? Oh, we know since when. Since you kicked away the dome and the protection of Allah, which is the Khalifa, then the curse rains on you and you don’t know where to turn. And you think, ‘if only I cry louder other people are going to listen, because there is no real wasila now. So if I complain, if I complain to the UN, if I complain to Europe, if I complain, then they’re going to hear and they’re going to do something.’ Complaining.
So this is very unusual, this behavior is very unusual. Number one, it’s very stupid, nobody loves a complainer. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, if you’re black, white, yellow, it doesn’t matter which nationality, nobody loves that. You have a problem either fix it or sit with it, if you’re a believer Allah is watching. So that means, yes you have Islam but you don’t have a Sheykh, your Sheykh becomes sheytan, sheytan complains. He was the first one who complained. I didn’t hear any of the angels complaining, saying that, ‘it should be me.’ Allah is making the angels to speak but on behalf of the people of the world and on behalf of him too. So number one we have to know, this is wrong. But we are so mixed up in this, we are raised to think, we hear our grandfather complaining, we think it’s okay. Everyone complaining, so oh, it’s okay, it’s part of life, it’s part of Islam. We hear our father complaining, our mother complaining, so everyone is going to complain, it’s normal. Some people their way of talking is just to sit and complain, ‘how are you?’ ‘Oh!’ they say, ‘you don’t know,’ start complaining, ‘my husband did this, my wife did this,’ this is the lowest level now.
When Yakub (AS) he was mentioning all of that when he was mentioning sorrow, he is not just in sorrow from separation from Yusuf, but sorrow understanding what his sons had done and sorrow understanding that Allah is not giving him permission to do anything. You think he doesn’t know? You think he can’t do anything? But that is what Allah is saying, ‘now be patient.’ I never read any ayat, six thousand six hundred and sixty-six ayats, where Allah is saying, ‘and Allah is with the one who complains.’ If you see let me know, but Allah is always saying, ‘Allah is with the one who is patient, and Allah knows what is in your heart.’ Allah is speaking in such, such soft, such intimate terms to mankind, never before has He spoken like that, saying, ‘I know what you’re going through, I know what is in your heart. I know what you’re hiding.’ That on the one hand it is speaking to the whole of mankind, but on the other hand Allah is speaking directly to you.
So this is the month of the Quran, we’re not sitting around just reading it as a robot, or just sitting around trying to make tafsir, we are not making tafsir, we are trying to understand and learn. We understand and we learn through the knowledge of our Sheykh and the permission that he has given us, if there is none of that then even if it is knowledge it is going to be useless knowledge, we learn nothing from it.
Complaining. First, bite your tongue. First, when something happens to you, say, ‘I deserve it. I deserve it, this is happening to me, I deserve it.’ You are a doctor, patient comes to you, you just want to know the bare facts of it, right? How would you feel if the patient is just complaining and complaining and not giving you something that you can actually use to help? You know how useless it is. Sometimes patient doesn’t even have to say anything, you say, ‘I already know,’ correct or no? ‘Just shut up, be quiet there, I’ll give you some medicine.’ But you yourself you have to know what it is. May Allah forgive me InsyaAllah and bless you, al Fatiha.
Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
Osmanli Dergah, New York
15 Ramazan 1441
May 7, 2020