Don’t Fall Into The Trap of Jealousy


Question: The brothers of Yusuf (as), they were saying that their father has more love for Hz Yusuf and that, astaghfirullah, he is misguided. Maybe because they don’t understand the relationship that their father has with Hz Yusuf (as). How do Murids in Tarikat not fall into a similar trap when they see that the Sheykh has different relationships with different Murids?  


Auzubillahi minasheytanir rajim, BismillahirRahmanirRahim. We are asking Destur and permission, for our Sheykh to send something to us so that we benefit from the sohbet. You listen, I listen. It is there for you to take and to put in your lives, and you are going to see improvement and progress. Otherwise, to read the Quran just like that also, although there are blessings, it’s not too much benefit. What the Tarikat is doing is that instead of you collecting all the flowers, taking out the nectar and making the honey, the Evliyaullah, they already make the honey.

Every Sahabi was an Evliya. It is only when they were able to give the sweetness of Islam that people were following it properly, then their children, their grandchildren. Otherwise, by force, within one generation, next generation they will just rebel, then they kick everything out. Maybe not one generation, maybe it takes some time, but they will eventually kick it out. But it’s not happened, in fact Islam is rising. The number of Muslims they are rising.

So, to understand now, Sheykh Effendi had spoken many times about this situation, about Hz Yaqub (as) and Hz Yusuf (as) and the brothers of Hz Yusuf. How many brothers does he have? Twelve. And they are, what? They are the Prophets of the Bani Israil. Each one of them representing one tribe, that is continuing up till today. Like this or like that. All of them were Prophets. And I remember a time when so much was happening in Sheykh Effendi’s situation, where because of jealousy, but the jealousy, you see, this is something that we must understand, don’t just take it from the Christian point of view, western point of view, because for them, the father just loves one more than the other, full stop. There is no reason why, there is no rationale, there is nothing. Just a father favors one over the other. It is not. They make the father to be, what, an idiot? There is a reason why, do you understand? They want to make it, oh, it’s just one feels jealous because he’s not given enough attention. So they’re stuck there, from that time until today. Attention, attention, attention.

It is not the attention. Beginning all the way from, let’s say, Habil and Qabil. It’s not because Adam (as) favors one over the other, or Allah favors one over the other. There is a reason why Allah favors one over the other, because that one is a Salih and the other one is a rebellious one. That is the reason. And Allah gives chance after chance after chance for that rebellious one, for his head to turn around. But that one became jealous and he became more sheytanic. Jealousy, the first. The understanding of jealousy, the inheritance that we get from sheytan who was jealous. Now, Allah favored Hz Adam. There is a reason why Allah favored Hz Adam. Allah made that reason clear, right? Even before He created Hz Adam. I mean, Hz Adam was a secret. Allah made it clear to him, to everyone, to everything in creation, even before it was there. And sheytan just wants to believe what he wants to believe. So when the form of Hz Adam was created and he went inside, circling around, coming out, he says ‘there’s nothing there, it’s dirty. It’s nothing, it’s empty.’ And he says ‘I am better than that one, and if Allah is making me to give respect, to make sejdah to that one, I will already rebel.’ The intention was already there.

Does he know? He knew. He knew even before the form of Hz Adam was there. Because if Allah Most High is going to say ‘I’m going to create a creature who’s going to represent Me,’ that means that one is above and beyond anything that we can imagine, he is a special one. In pre-eternity, every kind of creature was already created. Allah is never saying ‘that one is representing Me.’ So he knew. And when the Breath was also given to Hz Adam, Allah SWT made it public. He didn’t make it secret. When He blew the Breath and Adam (as) came into physical existence, and that physical is not this physical existence, it’s the physical existence which was the physical existence of the spiritual world. Yes, there is a physical body in the spiritual world. And when he woke, when he got up, the first thing he did was to sneeze, and then he says ‘Alhamdulillah.’ And everything in creation was shocked, including sheytan. How does this one know? He just came and he is knowing how to say ‘All praise be to Allah,’ Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alamin. Lord of the Worlds. The first ayat of Surahtul Fatiha. The key to everything. So he was jealous.

So there is a reason why Allah preferred Adam (as), there is a reason why sheytan became sheytan. It is not just because a father or the one in authority loves one more than the other. So there is a reason why Yusuf (as) was loved more by Yaqub (as). But his brothers, they were all Prophets. When the situation happened to Sheykh Effendi, when because of his qualities that were there, that was very clear for everyone to see, and some people they were very jealous, and they started cursing at him. Sheykh Effendi, Sahibulsaif, of course now everybody loves him, MashaAllah, that’s good. There used to be a time when everybody was cursing at him and calling him, I’m not talking about one or two people, I’m talking about hundreds, maybe thousands of people, whole Jamaats saying that, following whoever is saying this, saying that he is Abu Jahil, saying that he is Abu Lahab, saying that he is sheytan. Saying that our association is the zikr of sheytan. There was a time. All that is water under the bridge, yani. But sometimes, you like to peer from the bridge to look at the water. Eh, we have to, time to time, to understand where we are. Of course now, everybody loves Sheykh Effendi, MashaAllah. So there was jealousy. So we were asking ‘how can this be, how can people who are respected by thousands, how can they have such ugly, base, sheytanic jealousy? I’m using ‘sheytanic jealousy’, I’m not saying that person is sheytan. They call Sheykh Effendi sheytan, I’m not saying that. That quality, now, that quality. ‘How can it be, those ones who are so highly respected, they can have this kind of thing towards you?’ And he says, ‘look, didn’t the brothers of Yusuf (as) have jealousy? And they are Prophets. Who are we?’ he’s saying. Who are we? And this is a disease that everybody has, that if you don’t get rid of it, it doesn’t matter how high you are, how close you are to the highest one, you will fall.

So you must be very thankful, you must be very happy if somebody is there to teach you what jealousy is and how to get rid of it, to bring it out from you so that you understand what is this poison, and to get rid of it. Because billions don’t understand this. They act and they say and they do things without even knowing they are jealous, but in the baseline is that jealousy. And sheytan is that jealous one that Allah is warning us about. But the jealousy is not towards something that just because Yaqub (as) has more love to Yusuf (as), because Yusuf (as) has certain secrets that they don’t have. And it is clear. Those secrets too, Allah has given to him. Those secrets too, Yaqub (as) discovered a long time ago, when Yusuf (as) was still a child and he had a dream and he said ‘O my father, I dreamt the sun and the moon and the stars, they were all bowing down to me.’ They were making sejdah, not just bowing down, like this, like Japanese. No, they were making sejdah. And Yaqub (as), he understood and he says ‘keep this, especially don’t tell your brothers. They are not going to understand.’ Now you see certain qualities, Allah is saying that about the Bani Israil, to teach us a lesson. If you fall, if you are not watching, if you are not holding on to that Prophet and holding on to his inheritors, you are going to be like that and you are going to be worse than that.

And then what happened? Yusuf (as), Yaqub (as) understood that the secret now is going to be passed to him, although twelve are given, but the big secret is going to be passed to him. What happened to him? They threw him into the well, and that well, it is one of the holes, one of the portals of Jahannam. Okay? In order to kill him. They lied to their father, their father knew. But you know, some fathers, they love everyone, so they don’t punish also. He just cried to Allah. Then what happened to Yusuf (as)? From that lowest position, he rose to the highest position, he became, what? He became a wazir, he became ruler of Egypt. That what happened now? His father, his mother and his brothers came and they made sejdah to him. Do you understand? So he had the power now of dunya and of ahiret. Some they are given like that. Our Sheykh had said so many times, ‘why are they blaming me, why are they jealous? This is something that is given to me. I didn’t ask for it. It’s something that is given to me.’ And there are certain things that are given to people. And people who are given and they understood, this is the characteristics of Prophets and saints, they understood and they say ‘I don’t want it.’ How many Prophets we hear, that it’s given, Prophethood is given to them and they say ‘I don’t want this’? So many. That they try to run away, and Allah is being very tough on them because they are running away from that.


So how are you going to learn, as Murids? What is this jealousy? Jealousy is not just because, this is simple level, everyone thinks ‘oh, Sheykh loves that one more than me.’ Huh. But you never understand, why? You think he is just going to put his heart there without any understanding, without any reason? You think that one that their heart belongs to Allah SWT, he can easily let anything or anyone to come in? There must be a reason. If you understand that reason, now you are going to run for that. Now you are going to understand ‘my running also, in order for the Sheykh to love me, I have to question that. Why? Why I want the Sheykh to love me? For what? What reason? Who am I, that he should be loving me? What is so great about me?

What have I done in my life that such a nice one, such a good one, such a great one will love me?’ This is the arrogance that comes, because everyone thinking that he should. Are you doing anything to deserve that? Are you, what they say in English, endearing yourself to that? There are reasons why Allah SWT loves His servants and reasons why He doesn’t love His servants. It is not arbitrary, just by choosing like that. He loves for a reason, He hates for a reason. And that reason is reasonable. Everybody knows, it’s not a mystery. It’s not a mystery, it’s not dogma. There is a reason.

If you find the reason, then you will understand, you grow up a little bit, you understand ‘oh, it’s not about he loves or he doesn’t love. It’s not about whether he loves me or he doesn’t love me. It’s not about me. It is about him. It’s not about him, it is about what he stands for, what his maqam is, what his work is.’ You are running for that, Allah and His Prophet will love you. Otherwise, if you are just doing things so that the Sheykh is going to love you, but there is no real reason, just because you want him to love you, it’s very selfish too, and it’s very brittle. Easily it can be broken. But if you know you’re doing something that is useful, for him, for the Dergah, for everyone it’s useful, then that time you come to the station where it doesn’t matter also whether he loves you or he doesn’t love you. You’re not looking for the outward signs of that, because you understand now the meaning of what that love is. When you understand that meaning, it doesn’t matter. Then that time, he can bring you close to him, right next to him or very far away from him, it doesn’t matter. Physical it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter whether he says or he doesn’t say. You will understand by yourself. Don’t you see, this is why the Yahudis they are very not understanding, they are, ‘why you love that one?’ they are saying, ‘why do you love that one? He is an orphan.’ Astaghfirullah. ‘He doesn’t have any money.’ There are reasons. We should not be like that. But those who accept and they understood why Allah loves that one, then they become more beloved in the eyes of Allah. They reach to their stations now.

So think, understand. Don’t be childish, because you may be very developed in some ways, but still when it comes to, let’s say, anger, you are still behaving like you are seven years old. Anger. Every time someone hits you, you come down to seven years old. Jealousy, you come down to when you were seventeen years old. Arrogance, you come down to- there is a time, there is an age, there are reasons why you are stuck there, and Tarikat is to make you to understand ‘what happened to me? Why am I behaving this way? What is wrong with me? Once you start thinking and you start understanding and you start asking Allah, and your Sheykh is going to open certain things for you, then you say ‘oh, this is why. Then I must change.’ You will try, you will try, you will try. You will get knocked wall to wall if it’s necessary. Then that time, if you want to be useful, if you want to be beloved by Allah and His Prophet, then you must change. You must change. Easy way or hard way, you must change. If not, they will change you. And when they change you, it is going to be very difficult.

Like I said, this is a very big disease. It happens every time, it happens in every household. It happens in every Jamaat. And they are saying even the Murids of Mevlana they were so upset with Hz Shams. They were so jealous. But if they understood what Hz Shams is giving to Mevlana, they would run and kiss Hz Shams’ feet. So even that love, ‘I’m jealous to get that love’, that love is still empty love, it’s not real love. That they are saying even the son of Hz Mevlana is involved in the disappearance or the killing of Shams e-Tabriz. It is happening. Why do you think they were running to kill Hz Isa (as)? Were they not able to see the miracles that he was doing? Why were they running to kill the Prophet (AS)? Were they not aware of the miracles? They are. But they say ‘no, I want this. You cannot have it.’ And when the world is not understanding this, then it goes back. It doesn’t matter how old the world is, goes back all the way to seven thousand years. They are stuck there. Seven thousand years, still no change. But inside of us, we are carrying the memory of ourselves, our father, our grandfather, our forefathers, all the way back. Physically, we carry that too. What do you think, spiritually? We are not going to understand?

InsyaAllah, in this month we should understand. Like I said, don’t just stay away from food and drink, stay away from your jealousy. And Tarikat is famous for that. You think you are so nice, you think you are such a nice guy, you think you never feel something, something is going to happen and you say ‘I feel so much jealousy. What is happening to me? I never feel this way.’ Good. It’s not that it’s not there. It is there, but you’ve never seen it. Now we’re taking it out. Then you are going to understand. Now fix it. As you see, it is not something that is so simple, because better ones than us they are suffering from this and they did actions that is not too good. Then who are we?

So we need to stay away from it. Be around people who don’t have this quality, and be around people who have this quality and they know how to control it. But don’t run away from yourself. Don’t run away from yourself. Do not run away from yourself. When you are six feet underground, all you have in front of you is yourself. Then that’s the time all your evil will stand in front of you and all your good is going to stand in front of you, and you will know. You are running away from yourself, you cannot run away, do not run away from yourself. Because the more you run away from yourself, more you are going to be stuck with your evil in that grave, and more punishment you are going to feel because of that evil that you have carried all your life on the face of this earth when the earth is saying forty times a day to you ‘don’t be proud, don’t be arrogant. Don’t step all over me and be arrogant. Wake up, you are going to be under me.’

Tarikat is to make people not to run away from themselves, to understand. Then that time, when you have confronted yourself, when you are put into that grave there, you know what to expect, because you have been living with yourself your whole life, and that time, insyaAllah ar-Rahman, what is going to accompany you is your faith and your good works and your good deeds, because you didn’t run away and pretend that your evil is not there, you’ve dealt with it as much as you can. Because you’ve taken that one step, Allah is saying ‘take one step to Me and I will take ten steps to you.’ But billions they are running away from Allah. We should not be, insyaAllah. Wa minAllahu taufiq, bihurmatil habib, bihurmatil Fatiha. Amin. Selam Aleykum.


stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2)Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),
Osmanli Dergah, New York

15 Ramazan 1441
May 7, 2020

stock-vector-vector-vintage-borders-54193183 (2)

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1 Response to Don’t Fall Into The Trap of Jealousy

  1. Adnan Ahmad says:

    Thank you.

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