How can I take the pain of speaking to foolish people as an opportunity to correct myself?


Question: Ya Sheykh, after following your sohbets, the priorities of my life and the aims and the objectives of my life have changed. I feel respected to live on the path of the Ottoman Sultans, it gives me a real meaning to my life and my routine in life, to my family, and to my survival as a human in a Muslim society. I have tried to change my priorities, however I feel a bit painful because of the loss of time for the type of people around who have more hypocrisy, envy, and who try to cause pain. As quoted by one great Sufi scholar, ‘I learned hikmat in the company of foolish and idiot people.’ How can I take this pain as an opportunity to correct myself? I feel discomfort to overcome this pain. Sometimes I get nostalgic about the past and I feel that I want that time to come back. Can you guide me on this, please?

BismillahirRahmanirRahim, destur. Before you do all of that, be with the Saliheen. Before you do all of that, be with the Saliheen. Be with them, put all of that aside, put your past aside, put the pain or the nostalgia of pleasure or pain aside. Just be with the Saliheen, first, and be simple. If you try to do everything at once, which sheytan always over complicates things, make it to become so tied up to one another that you cannot even move. You cannot move because you over think. Allah says ‘bow down,’ you bow down. Why you must think so much? This is why you have to be staying around the Saliheen, not to sit and to judge them. Not to sit and to question them. Not to be defensive, not to be stubborn, not to be arrogant, but to be with them, to learn from them, to help them, to serve them. And this is an order, be with the Saliheen. You cannot be with the Saliheen and still keep your ego, keep your egoistic characteristics there. It’s not being with them.

So be simple first. Be with them, see how, what makes their heart to beat, what’s making them to be excited, what’s making them to be sad, what’s making them to be happy. When you are accepting that guide, when you are accepting that Jamaat, then you are going to say ‘how do I fit?’ In reality, it fits, because the spirit is in accord with one another. The only thing that is not fitting, it is the ego. So now you learn, what is your ego, why it’s not fitting like that, why it’s angry with this one, why it’s stubborn with this one, why it’s getting weak with this one, why is it happy with this one. You start discovering yourself. So do that first, we’ll talk about nostalgia later, how to deal with that, because that is also something that everyone has gone through, and maybe it’s slightly different, one to another, but mostly it is the same. And being with them too, once you have all these questions, they say ‘well, my experience is like this, my experience is like this, my experience is like that,’ and instead of feeling alienated and alone, you say ‘you know what? I feel familiarity with you, familiarity with you, familiarity with you,’ as long as you feel that you are separate, that time your sheytan will jump on you and finish you. If you feel that you are connected in the circle of believers, there is no chance for sheytan to attack you, even if you are the weakest one. If you are in the flock of a sheep, even if you are the weakest one, it is very difficult when the wolf comes to attack you, because you are in that big flock. But if you separate yourself from the flock, even if you are so strong, but you are separated from the Jamaat, that time it’s very easy for the sheytan, for the wolf to take you.

So being in the Jamaat, I know you are going to ask ‘well, there’s no Jamaat here.’ It is not just physical. You have to know, you have to understand what it is that’s making them to tick, and you have to have that longing, and you have to try to make your life to go according to that. Then that time, something is going to happen that says ‘okay, I can do this, this one I need to do this, I need to change,’ and the door may open, then, for you to even make that physical move, if it is necessary. There are some that they are here, physically, but their hearts have never been together. Hearts are always separate. That’s not going to save them. Being here physically is not going to save you. Your heart has to be the same. And you have to look, what’s making all those differences, the egoistic characteristics, and you have to fix it, one by one. InsyaAllah ar-Rahman, you do that, it is easy. The aim is not to make everyone to be the same. That’s not the aim. The aim is for you, in your own special, unique creation, to be able to reach the station that Allah SWT has created for you. May Allah make it easy insyaAllah, may Allah forgive me and bless you. Wa minallahu taufiq, Al Fatiha. Selam Aleykum.


Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),

Osmanli Dergah, New York
9 Rabiul Awwal 1443
14 October 2021

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