What does one do if one has low self-esteem?


Question: What does one do if you have low self-esteem? Should one first improve that or consider that a part of your nafs?

If this was Sheykh Effendi, he would first make fun of that word. “Self-steam” he says. “Steam, you are putting steam to yourself, self-esteem.” Sheykh Effendi is making that to become a joke, not that he doesn’t understand what it is. His understanding of language is the way that Evliyas understand language, which is so sophisticated. But we may say a couple of words on that, so that everyone understands. First I’m saying it to myself.

If we take that “low self-esteem” and we change that to someone who does not have the strength and the power and the confidence, for what? There has to be a reason, what is your confidence for? What is your power for? It must be for Haqq. It shouldn’t just be for yourself, you have no reason. You have no reason, sheytan will give you a reason. Your ego is going to give you a reason. You must have your intention very clear, ‘why I want this.’ People want health, why you want health? People want life. Why you want life? People want wealth. Why you want wealth? People want wives. Why you want a wife? People want husbands. Why you want a husband? You want. Why? Why? You have to answer for yourself, you cannot say ‘ah, you know…’ Tricky, tilki kind. ‘You know, you can make whatever it is.’ Don’t be tilki. That fox will eat you up. Then you will be finished, you say ‘I cannot go anywhere.’

So why? Intention is important. If intention is important for prayers, for everything that we do in Islam that is for worship, do you think intention is not important for your life? Why you wake up? Why you go to work? You must ask. So you want to have that confidence. Why you want to have it? If you want to have it for the sake of Haqq, for the sake of the Prophet (AS), for the sake of Truth, then Allah will lead you to those ones who will show you what you need to do. The first step is not to restore your confidence. The first step is for you to do something sincerely for the sake of Allah, then to find the blessings that come with it. Then later, because you are doing something that is Haqq and you are stepping against to your ego, maybe your ego is saying you are not worth doing nothing, this, this, this, yes, it can be from your ego. Meaning, once you start confiding with someone that is going to handle your spirituality, he will take you step by step, what you need to do. To do something for the sake of Haqq, it is farz. For who? Everyone. It’s not only farz for the rich, for the powerful, for the men, for this, for that, no. It’s for everyone.

So it is farz. Now slowly they will take you through what is important in your life, that you are doing for the sake of Allah, it must have an aim, it must have an intention, an aim. If it has no aim, you cannot reach to the target. Then you are going to live like an animal, you are going to die like an animal. No target, no intention. Like grass. Like robots. Like animals, lower than the animals. So many times we hear, when Sheykh Effendi is saying that, we think lower than the animals means worse than the animals. Yes? Even animals will not be that cruel, let us say. This Ahir Zaman, lower than the animals you don’t even have any life, you become a robot. No life, no heart, no taste, no mind. Everything that makes you to be a human, you don’t become a human anymore. Be with a Sheykh, with a guide and slowly he will tell you what is it that you need to stand up against. Once you start fighting against to your ego, there is a power that comes to you. There is a Rahmat that comes to you. Be simple. Don’t say ‘I want to have confidence so I can take on the world, take over the world.’ No, step by step. Once you become simple, once you become strong, then they may give you other things to do, according to what is your capacity. Find a guide. InsyaAllah. May Allah make us to hold on to him tightly. Fatiha. Selam Aleykum.


Sheykh Lokman Efendi Hz
Khalifah of SahibulSaif Shaykh Abdulkerim el Kibrisi (qs),

Osmanli Dergah, New York
20 Zul Hijjah 1442
July 29, 2021

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